Wow

I know it isn't gratitude month anymore, but I really have to express my gratitude to my Heavenly Father.

As many of you know, today was our ward Christmas program. I was asked to write and plan it. Our choir was also asked to perform for both sessions of stake conference (not my program) last week, so I can understand how tired of Christmas songs they must be. They've had to pull out extra practices and I know it was frustrating for them to have to give up extra time to practice and perform. I myself was sick last week and missed the stake performance but I heard it was amazing.

With all of this going on, I was unable to get the choir to commit to a run through rehearsal of the program. I admit I was a bit frustrated and very worried. Those of you who know me understand that having things circling beyond my control is extremely overwhelming. I was also concerned about alienating the choir members by pushing too hard, so instead of pushing for a practice I decided to pray. I prayed we'd be able to sing our songs in a way that would invite the Holy Ghost and share my testimony that I'd written into the program. I also decided to make rice crispy treats to give to the choir members as a giant thank you for all their hard work.

I made the treats last night and kind of made up the recipe. I've never made rice crispy treats by myself and the last time I made them with my mom, my age was somewhere in the single digits. I figured they would be easy and fun. I got mint m&ms to mix in the treats. I cut them and packaged them and decided to try a piece of the left overs. This was at midnight or later last night. I'd already spent most of my evening creating the program to be handed out to the congregation and mixing up the rice crispy treats only to discover the bags I'd bought for them were too small at the opening. I had to get creative and cut open the bags and then tie them together. I was tired and extremely stressed out having no idea how the program would go or even how long it would be. So I popped a piece of rice crispy in my mouth and discovered to my horror it tasted like the olive oil cooking spray I'd used to coat the pan so they wouldn't stick. I had no time to come up with something else and I realize now it was a little silly, but I immediately said a prayer. I prayed that the treats would taste like they should since they were a reward for the choir. They deserved something for their hard work.

I again prayed pretty much all morning that I would be calm, that I could have the spirit, that the congregation would understand that the Christmas program was an expression of my love for the Savior, that the choir would be able to sing well, that the program would run smoothly, that we as a choir would be able to bring the spirit into the sacrament meeting, and that the rice crispy treats would taste good.

I got to church and made copies of the program. The librarian kindly offered to help me staple them together. I gave them to the ushers and asked them to hand them out. I joined the choir and church began. Then the time came for us to perform. I quickly realized the program was too short. I was mostly in panic that we were going to end too soon. I had visions of us finishing with a half hour to spare. I don't really remember much about the program other than I was pleased in the end. Especially with Kristi's solo. She wanted to sing and I told her great, go for it. I let her pick out her song and even though I had never even heard the song, I felt she should close the program for us. It was perfect. The song said exactly what I wanted to say if I could've figured out the right words. We finished ten minutes early which turned out to be perfect. President Weidman, one of the counselors in the stake presidency, was visiting and wanted to talk to us. He got up and shared some thoughts that went perfectly with the theme of the program.

I had never meant this to be my program. I was supposed to be behind the scenes. It was the choir's Christmas program in my mind. But the branch knew I was the one who planned the program and I got so many compliments today. I thanked each person and pointed out that it wasn't because of me that everything worked out so well. How ungrateful would I be if I took the credit?

I got home with a couple extra rice crispy treats. I left them for mom and Jay. But I decided to have one myself. By then, I'd forgotten about the olive oil disaster of the night before until I took a bite of my treat. I burst into tears. It was really good. It's so silly. It's just a mix marshmallows, rice crispies, and m&ms. But I was filled with such a strong feeling of gratitude and love. I realized how much my Heavenly Father loves me. He not only helped the program to run smoothly, but He even attended to the silly detail of making sure the choir got a yummy treat as a reward. I was so thankful He would do that for me.