Monday, December 29, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Just a Quick Post
So I am not feeling well today. I actually haven't been feeling well the last couple of days. I think I'm just needing to adjust to having the heater on at night. It makes me really sick. Anyway, my manager sent me home early yesterday and today. I'm feeling better this afternoon, though. I better get well quick, because I am on vacation the rest of the week. I promised to help a friend pack for a move tomorrow and Karen comes in on Friday, and I still haven't done any Christmas shopping.
I've been invited to attend a Dallas Stars hockey game tonight, and I think if I'm feeling up to it, I'll go. I've been wanting to go forever, and have never before had a chance. I just better not eat anything...
I've spent the day resting and hanging out with the puppies. They are napping right now and I just had to snap a picture of Maggie. I didn't want to disturb her by getting up to get my camera, so I apologize for the grainy cell phone picture. But if you can see anything, you can tell that Maggie is sleeping with her panda bear. It's so adorable. Jay brought over some dog toys the other night. Maia is terrified of most of them (rubber bones, balls and the panda...) but she likes to play with the rope. Maggie on the other hand will play with most of the toys, but her favorite is Panda. She takes that thing everywhere. I looked over at her a few minutes ago and realized she was even sleeping with it. So cute!!
She loves squeaky toys like the panda. Maggie usually tears them to shreds looking to destroy the squeaker. It's really funny and maybe a little wrong that I find it so funny, but Maggie holds the panda upside down and chomps down on the most inappropriate spot looking for the squeaker. Hahaha. She cracks me up.
Anyway, if you can see the picture, enjoy!!
This one might be easier to see, though I think the first one is cuter...
I've been invited to attend a Dallas Stars hockey game tonight, and I think if I'm feeling up to it, I'll go. I've been wanting to go forever, and have never before had a chance. I just better not eat anything...
I've spent the day resting and hanging out with the puppies. They are napping right now and I just had to snap a picture of Maggie. I didn't want to disturb her by getting up to get my camera, so I apologize for the grainy cell phone picture. But if you can see anything, you can tell that Maggie is sleeping with her panda bear. It's so adorable. Jay brought over some dog toys the other night. Maia is terrified of most of them (rubber bones, balls and the panda...) but she likes to play with the rope. Maggie on the other hand will play with most of the toys, but her favorite is Panda. She takes that thing everywhere. I looked over at her a few minutes ago and realized she was even sleeping with it. So cute!!
She loves squeaky toys like the panda. Maggie usually tears them to shreds looking to destroy the squeaker. It's really funny and maybe a little wrong that I find it so funny, but Maggie holds the panda upside down and chomps down on the most inappropriate spot looking for the squeaker. Hahaha. She cracks me up.
Anyway, if you can see the picture, enjoy!!
This one might be easier to see, though I think the first one is cuter...
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Wow
I know it isn't gratitude month anymore, but I really have to express my gratitude to my Heavenly Father.
As many of you know, today was our ward Christmas program. I was asked to write and plan it. Our choir was also asked to perform for both sessions of stake conference (not my program) last week, so I can understand how tired of Christmas songs they must be. They've had to pull out extra practices and I know it was frustrating for them to have to give up extra time to practice and perform. I myself was sick last week and missed the stake performance but I heard it was amazing.
With all of this going on, I was unable to get the choir to commit to a run through rehearsal of the program. I admit I was a bit frustrated and very worried. Those of you who know me understand that having things circling beyond my control is extremely overwhelming. I was also concerned about alienating the choir members by pushing too hard, so instead of pushing for a practice I decided to pray. I prayed we'd be able to sing our songs in a way that would invite the Holy Ghost and share my testimony that I'd written into the program. I also decided to make rice crispy treats to give to the choir members as a giant thank you for all their hard work.
I made the treats last night and kind of made up the recipe. I've never made rice crispy treats by myself and the last time I made them with my mom, my age was somewhere in the single digits. I figured they would be easy and fun. I got mint m&ms to mix in the treats. I cut them and packaged them and decided to try a piece of the left overs. This was at midnight or later last night. I'd already spent most of my evening creating the program to be handed out to the congregation and mixing up the rice crispy treats only to discover the bags I'd bought for them were too small at the opening. I had to get creative and cut open the bags and then tie them together. I was tired and extremely stressed out having no idea how the program would go or even how long it would be. So I popped a piece of rice crispy in my mouth and discovered to my horror it tasted like the olive oil cooking spray I'd used to coat the pan so they wouldn't stick. I had no time to come up with something else and I realize now it was a little silly, but I immediately said a prayer. I prayed that the treats would taste like they should since they were a reward for the choir. They deserved something for their hard work.
I again prayed pretty much all morning that I would be calm, that I could have the spirit, that the congregation would understand that the Christmas program was an expression of my love for the Savior, that the choir would be able to sing well, that the program would run smoothly, that we as a choir would be able to bring the spirit into the sacrament meeting, and that the rice crispy treats would taste good.
I got to church and made copies of the program. The librarian kindly offered to help me staple them together. I gave them to the ushers and asked them to hand them out. I joined the choir and church began. Then the time came for us to perform. I quickly realized the program was too short. I was mostly in panic that we were going to end too soon. I had visions of us finishing with a half hour to spare. I don't really remember much about the program other than I was pleased in the end. Especially with Kristi's solo. She wanted to sing and I told her great, go for it. I let her pick out her song and even though I had never even heard the song, I felt she should close the program for us. It was perfect. The song said exactly what I wanted to say if I could've figured out the right words. We finished ten minutes early which turned out to be perfect. President Weidman, one of the counselors in the stake presidency, was visiting and wanted to talk to us. He got up and shared some thoughts that went perfectly with the theme of the program.
I had never meant this to be my program. I was supposed to be behind the scenes. It was the choir's Christmas program in my mind. But the branch knew I was the one who planned the program and I got so many compliments today. I thanked each person and pointed out that it wasn't because of me that everything worked out so well. How ungrateful would I be if I took the credit?
I got home with a couple extra rice crispy treats. I left them for mom and Jay. But I decided to have one myself. By then, I'd forgotten about the olive oil disaster of the night before until I took a bite of my treat. I burst into tears. It was really good. It's so silly. It's just a mix marshmallows, rice crispies, and m&ms. But I was filled with such a strong feeling of gratitude and love. I realized how much my Heavenly Father loves me. He not only helped the program to run smoothly, but He even attended to the silly detail of making sure the choir got a yummy treat as a reward. I was so thankful He would do that for me.
As many of you know, today was our ward Christmas program. I was asked to write and plan it. Our choir was also asked to perform for both sessions of stake conference (not my program) last week, so I can understand how tired of Christmas songs they must be. They've had to pull out extra practices and I know it was frustrating for them to have to give up extra time to practice and perform. I myself was sick last week and missed the stake performance but I heard it was amazing.
With all of this going on, I was unable to get the choir to commit to a run through rehearsal of the program. I admit I was a bit frustrated and very worried. Those of you who know me understand that having things circling beyond my control is extremely overwhelming. I was also concerned about alienating the choir members by pushing too hard, so instead of pushing for a practice I decided to pray. I prayed we'd be able to sing our songs in a way that would invite the Holy Ghost and share my testimony that I'd written into the program. I also decided to make rice crispy treats to give to the choir members as a giant thank you for all their hard work.
I made the treats last night and kind of made up the recipe. I've never made rice crispy treats by myself and the last time I made them with my mom, my age was somewhere in the single digits. I figured they would be easy and fun. I got mint m&ms to mix in the treats. I cut them and packaged them and decided to try a piece of the left overs. This was at midnight or later last night. I'd already spent most of my evening creating the program to be handed out to the congregation and mixing up the rice crispy treats only to discover the bags I'd bought for them were too small at the opening. I had to get creative and cut open the bags and then tie them together. I was tired and extremely stressed out having no idea how the program would go or even how long it would be. So I popped a piece of rice crispy in my mouth and discovered to my horror it tasted like the olive oil cooking spray I'd used to coat the pan so they wouldn't stick. I had no time to come up with something else and I realize now it was a little silly, but I immediately said a prayer. I prayed that the treats would taste like they should since they were a reward for the choir. They deserved something for their hard work.
I again prayed pretty much all morning that I would be calm, that I could have the spirit, that the congregation would understand that the Christmas program was an expression of my love for the Savior, that the choir would be able to sing well, that the program would run smoothly, that we as a choir would be able to bring the spirit into the sacrament meeting, and that the rice crispy treats would taste good.
I got to church and made copies of the program. The librarian kindly offered to help me staple them together. I gave them to the ushers and asked them to hand them out. I joined the choir and church began. Then the time came for us to perform. I quickly realized the program was too short. I was mostly in panic that we were going to end too soon. I had visions of us finishing with a half hour to spare. I don't really remember much about the program other than I was pleased in the end. Especially with Kristi's solo. She wanted to sing and I told her great, go for it. I let her pick out her song and even though I had never even heard the song, I felt she should close the program for us. It was perfect. The song said exactly what I wanted to say if I could've figured out the right words. We finished ten minutes early which turned out to be perfect. President Weidman, one of the counselors in the stake presidency, was visiting and wanted to talk to us. He got up and shared some thoughts that went perfectly with the theme of the program.
I had never meant this to be my program. I was supposed to be behind the scenes. It was the choir's Christmas program in my mind. But the branch knew I was the one who planned the program and I got so many compliments today. I thanked each person and pointed out that it wasn't because of me that everything worked out so well. How ungrateful would I be if I took the credit?
I got home with a couple extra rice crispy treats. I left them for mom and Jay. But I decided to have one myself. By then, I'd forgotten about the olive oil disaster of the night before until I took a bite of my treat. I burst into tears. It was really good. It's so silly. It's just a mix marshmallows, rice crispies, and m&ms. But I was filled with such a strong feeling of gratitude and love. I realized how much my Heavenly Father loves me. He not only helped the program to run smoothly, but He even attended to the silly detail of making sure the choir got a yummy treat as a reward. I was so thankful He would do that for me.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
[My Bank] presents this certificate to
ME!!
"In recognition of your outstanding achievements, which will have a long-lasting effect on [my bank]. This certificate is presented for ranking in the top range within your Market in the Breakthrough Performance Plan. Thank you for your dedication, and effort toward the Breakthrough Performance Plan and for living the [my bank's] Spirit each and every day."
Tonight I received my award for my 3rd quarter performance. My dad was kind enough to spend the evening with me and my regional managers. We were treated to dinner at Blue Mesa Grill Cafe in Southlake. My dinner was great (until the server dropped my Dr Pepper in it!!). I got to know a new teller who works in Colleyville and I got to see a more personal side of my regional managers.
Plus I got a gorgeous award I can put on my desk and a plaque to keep at home!!
Me with my regional managers:
Steve (the big boss), me, Katrina, and Jeff.
Thanks, Dad, for coming. It meant so much to me to have you there!!
I also owe a big thank you to my manager, Matt. He wasn't able to attend tonight (and it wasn't like it was a celebration just for me. There were at least 25 others being recognized). Just four months ago (really only 4 months? It feels like 4 years...) I was struggling desperately to save my job. I worked at a different branch with a vastly different manager. The guy was a jerk to put it nicely. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't do anything right. With my personal life in shambles and a new, uncaring manager, the stress level was overwhelming me. My job was on the line. Luckily, Matt decided to give me a chance. He saw in me what my prior manager refused to (or maybe Matt was just desperate to fill a vacant position at his branch). I can promise you I don't do anything different at this branch. I am just in a better environment. I now work in a place where my quirks make me funny instead of weird. I am given the time I need to finish my tasks and am allowed to learn other aspects of banking. I am allowed to speak my mind without fear of retaliation. (Though I rarely have anything negative to say, so why would Matt get mad at me?) My integrity is never questioned or tested. I feel like I am respected. I come to work and leave happy each day. It's been so freeing to work at my new branch. And look at me now. One quarter I'm just this side of getting fired, and the next, I'm right on top.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Another JJ and Marilyn Adventure
So I've been feeling very overwhelmed and stressed lately and as you know I decided to just step back and cut out some of the things I couldn't handle to go back to when a few other things were settled. BEST idea I've ever had. I can still feel the stress but it is much lighter since I'm beginning to prioritize the order in which I am dealing with everything.
Today was my day off and I had a list about a mile high of errands I needed to run. I picked the three that HAD to be done today and made time to meet JJ for dinner.
I had an excellent day. I let myself take my time to get ready and enjoy some Christmas music. I then ran my errands and met up with JJ.
Another friend of mine had suggested I try a restaurant up in Frisco. I've never had Indian food and since she's Indian she thought it would be a good way for me to introduce myself to that food. JJ's never had Indian food either so we went up to Masala Wok and it was fabulous! JJ tried the Ginger Chicken with rice and I had the Blazing Masala noodles with chicken. (That is what my friend recommended I try.) We had also been told to have the chicken lollipops as our appetizer. (My new favorite snack!!) JJ thought we should try a dessert and I thought it was funny she picked the tres leches cake since that is not really Indian. Well, it turned out the cake was still frozen (there was no way they could thaw it today with how cold it's been!!), so they brought us samples of the other two desserts which I'm guessing are Indian. One was some kind of milk bread in honey sauce and the other was some kind of sweet cheese in a milk sauce. Both were very interesting, but not quite my taste.
I love talking to JJ. She's so great with listening to my concerns. She always knows whether she should just sympathize or offer advice. I guess that comes from a nearly twenty year friendship. Gulp... Has it really been that long?? (I'm so OLD!!) I love letting her talk too. It's nice to feel like I can give something back. And sometimes it's nice to just sit and reminisce about our days as super-awkward teenagers.
Plus with it being so cold, I got to wear my gorgeous leather jacket, a gift from my Aunt Mar, and my lovely purple scarf, a gift from Karen. It's funny how wearing something can make you feel closer to the person who gave it to you.
Today was my day off and I had a list about a mile high of errands I needed to run. I picked the three that HAD to be done today and made time to meet JJ for dinner.
I had an excellent day. I let myself take my time to get ready and enjoy some Christmas music. I then ran my errands and met up with JJ.
Another friend of mine had suggested I try a restaurant up in Frisco. I've never had Indian food and since she's Indian she thought it would be a good way for me to introduce myself to that food. JJ's never had Indian food either so we went up to Masala Wok and it was fabulous! JJ tried the Ginger Chicken with rice and I had the Blazing Masala noodles with chicken. (That is what my friend recommended I try.) We had also been told to have the chicken lollipops as our appetizer. (My new favorite snack!!) JJ thought we should try a dessert and I thought it was funny she picked the tres leches cake since that is not really Indian. Well, it turned out the cake was still frozen (there was no way they could thaw it today with how cold it's been!!), so they brought us samples of the other two desserts which I'm guessing are Indian. One was some kind of milk bread in honey sauce and the other was some kind of sweet cheese in a milk sauce. Both were very interesting, but not quite my taste.
I love talking to JJ. She's so great with listening to my concerns. She always knows whether she should just sympathize or offer advice. I guess that comes from a nearly twenty year friendship. Gulp... Has it really been that long?? (I'm so OLD!!) I love letting her talk too. It's nice to feel like I can give something back. And sometimes it's nice to just sit and reminisce about our days as super-awkward teenagers.
Plus with it being so cold, I got to wear my gorgeous leather jacket, a gift from my Aunt Mar, and my lovely purple scarf, a gift from Karen. It's funny how wearing something can make you feel closer to the person who gave it to you.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
A Day Off
I am taking the day off from life. I am feeling very stressed out and most definitely overwhelmed.
I think about the enormous amount of stress I am going through now and compare it to what I was dealing with this time last year. I would so much rather be where I am now. Life is sooo much better now, but still hard at times.
Honestly, it's mostly situational. Most of my stress will be over after Christmas. But I can feel it overwhelming me and making its way through my body. I don't handle emotional stress very well; it tends to manifest itself physically. As I realized this weekend just how much pressure I have been under and how run down I was beginning to feel, I decided to stay home and rest.
I am normally a very light sleeper. But these past few days I am sleeping long and hard. I have even slept through the ringing of my phone, missing a call and a couple of texts. I am sort of worried I'll sleep through my alarm too.
Tomorrow I am back to reality. If anybody has any good news about anything, I'd love to hear it.
I think about the enormous amount of stress I am going through now and compare it to what I was dealing with this time last year. I would so much rather be where I am now. Life is sooo much better now, but still hard at times.
Honestly, it's mostly situational. Most of my stress will be over after Christmas. But I can feel it overwhelming me and making its way through my body. I don't handle emotional stress very well; it tends to manifest itself physically. As I realized this weekend just how much pressure I have been under and how run down I was beginning to feel, I decided to stay home and rest.
I am normally a very light sleeper. But these past few days I am sleeping long and hard. I have even slept through the ringing of my phone, missing a call and a couple of texts. I am sort of worried I'll sleep through my alarm too.
Tomorrow I am back to reality. If anybody has any good news about anything, I'd love to hear it.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Thoughts and Prayers are Much Appreciated
A friend of mine who lives in Idaho was in a terrible car accident the weekend before Thanksgiving. I just found out a few hours ago when I got a phone call from his dad. I was in too much shock to process what I was being told or ask for details so I don't really know what happened. I just know that Layton is now paralyzed from the neck down. Please keep him in your prayers. I don't really know what to pray for other than comfort and hope for Layton and his family. I can't imagine what he must be going through right now. I hope the Lord will bless him to find new meaning in his life as he begins the road to whatever recovery he can find.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
After 25 Years of Waiting...
I am about to have a brother.
No, sillies... There's no new baby.
Karen is getting married!!
She called me this morning at 1:15 am (yikes! those young, crazy kids up at all hours...) to announce she was engaged.
Karen and Tyler. Look how excited they are!!
I thought the photo was cute. Karen pulls faces more often than she smiles when you try to take her picture. I wish Tyler the best of luck with his engagement and wedding photos...
And if I notice a picture as cute as this one on their facebook pages where Karen and Tyler are smiling, I'll post it on here for you.
Love you Karen. Congratulations.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
I Am Thankful for Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!! I had a good day and I hope all of you did as well. I spent my day making blackberry and pumpkin pies. The blackberry was for my dad and turned out even better than last year, and the pumpkin was for my mom.
Mom and I had dinner together and it was fabulous as always. Nobody can make turkey or stuffing quite like my mom. Then I went to Dad's to hang out for a couple of hours.
We watched Kung Fu Panda which was super cute. I hadn't seen it before but I wanted to. Then, we got to play Guitar Hero on the Wii. I've never played Guitar Hero before but it was a blast!! I played with Dad and Fallon and after I got the hang of it, I was doing fairly well. Of course I kept myself on the easy level...
I also got to spend some time talking with my aunt and my grandma. I always enjoy chatting with my aunt, but I rarely get to talk with Grandma. Since our conversations are few, I always have a lot to catch her up on about my life. I was thinking after I got off the phone how much I cherish our talks. Not only does Grandma give good advice, but she usually lifts me up and always tells me how proud she is of me. The thing I like best about catching her up though, is that it reminds me of all my blessings. I have been so blessed to have come so far in just a few short months. I don't always recognize the Lord's hand in my life, but I could not have recovered so much so quickly on my own. Talking with Grandma not only recaps my life for her, but it recaps my blessings for me.
Mom and I had dinner together and it was fabulous as always. Nobody can make turkey or stuffing quite like my mom. Then I went to Dad's to hang out for a couple of hours.
We watched Kung Fu Panda which was super cute. I hadn't seen it before but I wanted to. Then, we got to play Guitar Hero on the Wii. I've never played Guitar Hero before but it was a blast!! I played with Dad and Fallon and after I got the hang of it, I was doing fairly well. Of course I kept myself on the easy level...
I also got to spend some time talking with my aunt and my grandma. I always enjoy chatting with my aunt, but I rarely get to talk with Grandma. Since our conversations are few, I always have a lot to catch her up on about my life. I was thinking after I got off the phone how much I cherish our talks. Not only does Grandma give good advice, but she usually lifts me up and always tells me how proud she is of me. The thing I like best about catching her up though, is that it reminds me of all my blessings. I have been so blessed to have come so far in just a few short months. I don't always recognize the Lord's hand in my life, but I could not have recovered so much so quickly on my own. Talking with Grandma not only recaps my life for her, but it recaps my blessings for me.
I Am Thankful Parts One and Two (aka two days of gratitude rolled into one long story)
Part One
I was given two tickets to the Dallas Mavericks game last night. It was totally last minute but I was super grateful that one of the bank customers would think of me when he had tickets to give away.
I had actually decided I wanted to ask a guy out. Yes there is a particular guy... I wanted to ask him to something that would be a fun, no pressure kind of date where I could get to know him a little and see if we could even be friends. I decided to pray for an opportunity to ask him out. I know I sound like a dork but the idea of dating TERRIFIES me. So, when I was given the tickets, I immediately knew I needed to call this guy. Trouble was, I didn't have his phone number...
So I emailed him. No response. I figured he was busy or wouldn't get the email in time or didn't want to go, so I started calling other people. No one wanted to go!! Not even my own parents!! I started offering them up to couples I knew. Since no one wanted to go with me, maybe they'd want to go with their boyfriend. Still, no takers. Finally I admitted to a very close friend my original plan. She happened to have the phone number to THE GUY.
So I called him. I left a message and he called back almost right away. He couldn't go. It was pretty late by this time and he had plans to go out with some friends to a movie. I ended up not going to the game and stayed home with my puppies. I watched NCIS and finished my laundry. I was a little sad I couldn't find anyone to go with me, but I wasn't sad THE GUY said no. I wasn't scared to call him either. I think it was because I had been asking for the opportunity and I jumped when the opportunity presented itself. And, even though it turned out as a no last night, it may not be no in the future....
Part Two
I went to FHE on Monday night. We had "Kindergarten Thanksgiving" which was pretty cute and fun. They served mashed potatoes and chicken nuggets and we made brown bag vests and/or Indian headdresses so we could be either pilgrims or Indians. I even got talked into staying and playing volleyball. (Which was really me just standing in my place, ducking and screaming if the ball came toward me...)
Anyway, my friend Kristi was there, and we really haven't had a chance to hang out since she's been back except for at church. So I mentioned to her that we needed to get together. She told me, perfect, I could come with her to karaoke night on Wednesday (that would be tonight). So even though I had no intention whatsoever of singing karaoke, I said I would go so I could hang out with Kristi and some of the others from the ward.
So I showed up at Sneaky Pete's tonight for karaoke. Guess who else was there. Yep, that's right, it was THE GUY. And somehow, there just happened to be an open seat right next to him. I don't know how Kristi pulled that off, and I am very sure it wasn't planned because I haven't told her about my little crush. Then again, I am an open book. Maybe she already knew. We ended up moving tables to get better seats and so I sat across from him. We chatted a bit but it was hard because the place was so loud. Plus there were other people I wanted to talk to. I don't want this guy to know I like him. And, Kristi brought another friend I really like whom I haven't really gotten to see since before I was married. So I spent a lot of time talking to her. We all had a lot of fun, but then other patrons began to get drunk and very strange so our group decided to leave.
He had earlier asked me how I enjoyed the Mavs game. Since Kristi and the others were listening I gave him a hard time (not too hard a time) about me not being able to go since he wanted to go to a $0.50 movie versus a free Mavericks' game. As we were walking to our cars, he said, "Seriously, Marilyn, if you get tickets again, I'd really like to go." So whether that means he's interested in me because I might have a connection to Mavs tickets or because I am cute and fun, I don't really know or care. Maybe it's a little of both.
But I am grateful that I went out tonight even though I didn't really feel like it. I am grateful Kristi would think to invite me when she makes plans. And I am grateful that I went ahead and called THE GUY last night even though I was sure he would say no. It all worked out in the end.
Monday, November 24, 2008
I Am Grateful For My Grandfather
Though he passed from this life November 25, 1996, today, the Monday before Thanksgiving, marks the day that I remember as the anniversary of my grandfather's death. His name was Ramon K Ostenberg and he was my hero.
Keep in mind my memories are those of a child; he died when I was barely 13 years old. It broke my heart when I lost him.
My grandpa loved me perfectly. I barely remember any conversations we might have had, but we were always aware of each other. He didn't care that I was chubby or obnoxious. There never seemed to be a time when another grandchild was more important than me. He never minded if I wanted to sit next to him while he watched TV and he let me talk his ear off. He never complained.
He never complained when he got sick. I remember him asking us how we were doing. He seemed able to read my mind, offering me words of comfort. I always saw my grandfather as larger than life and then there he was, this tiny, fragile man, lying in a hospital bed with just weeks left on this earth.
My grandpa was a wonderful example of charity. He was quiet and patient and always ready to lend another a helping hand.
If there were problems in the family, I never knew it from him. If he disapproved of something or someone he gave no indication to me. 
He liked to take us to Pizza Hut for BBQ chicken pizza.
He made a tire swing and hung it from a large tree in his front/side yard when he knew the grandchildren were coming and would never tire of pushing us on it.
One year he bought us sparklers and those things you throw to make the loud popping sound for the 4th of July.
I remember sitting outside one day blowing bubbles.
He hated the cat. (And so did I after she scratched my face. He was the only one who noticed that too...)
He loved my dad. I look back now and realize just how lucky my dad was to have a father-in-law like my grandfather.
He commanded respect without asking for it. He was dignified.
He had a hearty, infectious laugh and his eye would squint when he smiled.
He was honest.
I am so grateful for the Plan of Salvation and for the knowledge that I have the chance to be reunited with him someday. I miss him with all my heart. I love him so much I could burst. I am so grateful for his amazing example of a Christlike disciple.
Grandpa, I love you.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
I'm Super Tired but Super Happy
So when I stress out, I can't sleep. Literally can not sleep. Last night after I finished my script I was so happy to lay down in my comfy bed and get some much deserved rest.
My brain had other ideas. It would not shut off... I lay in bed thinking about the program, my mom, my sister, and who knows what else. Finally I got up around 3:30 still wide awake. I decided to go ahead and shower and bake the brownies I'd promised the choir. The brownies would not bake!! They cooked on one half and not the other. I flipped the pan around and tried to cook them longer but the side that got cooked in the first place only got cooked more, and the other half was still a gooey mess. (I broke the sabbath and bought cookies from Walmart. I promised the guys if they showed up to choir there would be food...) Still wide awake I did a load of laundry and finally was tired. I think I fell asleep around 6:30 am. I had to get up at 9!!
So I am grateful for Heavenly Father sustaining me today. No one at church would have guessed I'd had no sleep. I was happy and energetic. I made it through choir pretty well and was only slightly dizzy on my way home. But I wasn't done yet. I still had to go visiting teaching!!
Luckily my super awesome VT partner was driving. We had a lot of fun chatting on the drive and with our friends once we got to their apartment. I even managed to give a coherent lesson.
The drive home was a little more fuzzy. I do remember getting some chicken soup from my mom when I got home and then I was passed out. I am also grateful that Maggie and Maia were happy to nap with me so I didn't have to stay awake to keep them in line.
For those of you who have been asking, I don't know if my Christmas program has been approved yet. It's pretty simple, but that's the way I feel about the gospel. What comments can I make beyond what has already been said? The prophets of the Bible and Book of Mormon have already told the story so eloquently, I just basically put in some transition statements and picked out songs that went along the lines of the the story of the Savior's birth. We are performing December 14th.
We are performing two of our songs for stake conference on December 7th as well as at the Frisco Nativity.
So I also have some gratitude to make up. I think I am behind one or two days, but I have plenty to be grateful for. I am grateful we've had some chilly weather. I've gotten to enjoy hot chocolate, wearing sweaters, and best of all, it was even cold enough for a couple of days that I got to wear my super awesome leather jacket that was a Christmas present from my Aunt Mar last year.
In doing research for the Christmas program, I found my very favorite Christmas carol and purchased the Mtab version from iTunes. It is called "Angels' Carol" and if I had enough time and could find the sheet music, I would make the choir sing it for our program. However I do not have enough time or the sheet music, so I will just have to enjoy it by myself. As a matter of fact I have it looping on my computer as I type. (Yes I am breaking my rule of no Christmas music before Thanksgiving. It is THAT good.) If I could figure out how to post it for you to hear I would.
I am also so grateful I am discovering my place in my ward. I am coming out of my shell. I think my calling has given me a sense of purpose and forces me to meet people. I am relaxing and having more fun.
Today for example, I needed to talk to the brethren. As part of my calling, I have to coordinate with the leaders of each auxiliary to make sure they have a chorister and pianist so they can sing in class. I also need to know about other musical talents so I can arrange for special musical numbers in Sacrament meeting. I told the brethren (and the sisters but that story isn't funny) about this part of my calling and told them I would be passing around a sign up sheet next week. I wanted to give them a week to think about their talents and decide it would be okay to share them with us. I put my email address on the chalkboard for them to email me with questions or concerns about performing before I send around the sign up sheet. Part of my email address includes my birth date. One of the guys (I had my back to them at the time), said, "What are those numbers?" I said, "It's my birthday, so now you guys now when it is time to buy me presents." Which got them laughing. Then somebody said, "Are you sure? It kind looks like an area code. Are you sure that isn't your phone number?" And without skipping a beat I very saucily replied, "Oh no, you guys aren't getting my phone number." They thought that was funny too. Or at least I did, but they were laughing too. I thought about it on my way to choir and if I had it to do over, I would say, "Oh only guys who come to choir get my number." Or something like that.
So yes I am stressing. I will be very glad when the Christmas program is over. But yes, I am very happy.
My brain had other ideas. It would not shut off... I lay in bed thinking about the program, my mom, my sister, and who knows what else. Finally I got up around 3:30 still wide awake. I decided to go ahead and shower and bake the brownies I'd promised the choir. The brownies would not bake!! They cooked on one half and not the other. I flipped the pan around and tried to cook them longer but the side that got cooked in the first place only got cooked more, and the other half was still a gooey mess. (I broke the sabbath and bought cookies from Walmart. I promised the guys if they showed up to choir there would be food...) Still wide awake I did a load of laundry and finally was tired. I think I fell asleep around 6:30 am. I had to get up at 9!!
So I am grateful for Heavenly Father sustaining me today. No one at church would have guessed I'd had no sleep. I was happy and energetic. I made it through choir pretty well and was only slightly dizzy on my way home. But I wasn't done yet. I still had to go visiting teaching!!
Luckily my super awesome VT partner was driving. We had a lot of fun chatting on the drive and with our friends once we got to their apartment. I even managed to give a coherent lesson.
The drive home was a little more fuzzy. I do remember getting some chicken soup from my mom when I got home and then I was passed out. I am also grateful that Maggie and Maia were happy to nap with me so I didn't have to stay awake to keep them in line.
For those of you who have been asking, I don't know if my Christmas program has been approved yet. It's pretty simple, but that's the way I feel about the gospel. What comments can I make beyond what has already been said? The prophets of the Bible and Book of Mormon have already told the story so eloquently, I just basically put in some transition statements and picked out songs that went along the lines of the the story of the Savior's birth. We are performing December 14th.
We are performing two of our songs for stake conference on December 7th as well as at the Frisco Nativity.
So I also have some gratitude to make up. I think I am behind one or two days, but I have plenty to be grateful for. I am grateful we've had some chilly weather. I've gotten to enjoy hot chocolate, wearing sweaters, and best of all, it was even cold enough for a couple of days that I got to wear my super awesome leather jacket that was a Christmas present from my Aunt Mar last year.
In doing research for the Christmas program, I found my very favorite Christmas carol and purchased the Mtab version from iTunes. It is called "Angels' Carol" and if I had enough time and could find the sheet music, I would make the choir sing it for our program. However I do not have enough time or the sheet music, so I will just have to enjoy it by myself. As a matter of fact I have it looping on my computer as I type. (Yes I am breaking my rule of no Christmas music before Thanksgiving. It is THAT good.) If I could figure out how to post it for you to hear I would.
I am also so grateful I am discovering my place in my ward. I am coming out of my shell. I think my calling has given me a sense of purpose and forces me to meet people. I am relaxing and having more fun.
Today for example, I needed to talk to the brethren. As part of my calling, I have to coordinate with the leaders of each auxiliary to make sure they have a chorister and pianist so they can sing in class. I also need to know about other musical talents so I can arrange for special musical numbers in Sacrament meeting. I told the brethren (and the sisters but that story isn't funny) about this part of my calling and told them I would be passing around a sign up sheet next week. I wanted to give them a week to think about their talents and decide it would be okay to share them with us. I put my email address on the chalkboard for them to email me with questions or concerns about performing before I send around the sign up sheet. Part of my email address includes my birth date. One of the guys (I had my back to them at the time), said, "What are those numbers?" I said, "It's my birthday, so now you guys now when it is time to buy me presents." Which got them laughing. Then somebody said, "Are you sure? It kind looks like an area code. Are you sure that isn't your phone number?" And without skipping a beat I very saucily replied, "Oh no, you guys aren't getting my phone number." They thought that was funny too. Or at least I did, but they were laughing too. I thought about it on my way to choir and if I had it to do over, I would say, "Oh only guys who come to choir get my number." Or something like that.
So yes I am stressing. I will be very glad when the Christmas program is over. But yes, I am very happy.
Don't Worry
I am grateful for many things! I know I am behind and I promise an update TOMORROW to make up. I haven't forgotten!! I just need to go to bed or I will not wake up in time for church!!
I will say that for today's gratitude, I am grateful I FINALLY finished the Christmas program. Now if only I can find enough time to get the choir prepared...
I will say that for today's gratitude, I am grateful I FINALLY finished the Christmas program. Now if only I can find enough time to get the choir prepared...
Thursday, November 20, 2008
A Day Out With Friends
On Wednesday I got to spend the day with a very cherished friend of mine named JJ. I've known her since I was six, and even though we occasionally lose contact (sometimes for a couple of years...) we always pick up right where we left off. We get each other.
I got to help her along with another friend of hers to pick out wedding dresses. JJ is planning on getting married in September. We had so much fun, and I think we might have found the dress.
JJ's friend Dana brought her son Caleb who is about 18 months. I don't think he was aware of what was going on but he was so sweet and cute. While we were searching the first boutique, he kept calling out, "I do!" I asked Dana if she thought she might've started Caleb's training a little young. It was adorable.
I am thankful for the time I got to spend with JJ. I am grateful she would let me participate in the planning of her wedding. I am grateful that she seems to have found a guy who gets her too.
I got to help her along with another friend of hers to pick out wedding dresses. JJ is planning on getting married in September. We had so much fun, and I think we might have found the dress.
JJ's friend Dana brought her son Caleb who is about 18 months. I don't think he was aware of what was going on but he was so sweet and cute. While we were searching the first boutique, he kept calling out, "I do!" I asked Dana if she thought she might've started Caleb's training a little young. It was adorable.
I am thankful for the time I got to spend with JJ. I am grateful she would let me participate in the planning of her wedding. I am grateful that she seems to have found a guy who gets her too.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
At the End of the Day
I am glad this day is over. It wasn't a bad day, but it wasn't a good one either. It was long and stressful and it is over!!
I am so grateful I made it through the day and that I get to start over tomorrow.
I am so grateful I made it through the day and that I get to start over tomorrow.
Monday, November 17, 2008
FHE
I am grateful for FHE. I have been feeling very stressed for the past few days and wasn't really sure I wanted to meet up with the singles for FHE tonight. And though I am still tired and stressed, I am glad I went.
We had a chili and cobbler cook-off. I'd never made cobbler before so I thought I'd give it a try. I made blackberry cobbler, and I think I'll be tweaking the recipe a bit more in the future, but it tasted pretty good (even though it was super ugly). It was fun to try the chilis and cobblers and chat with some of my friends.
I am especially grateful for JJ and Kristi. They were both able to talk to me about two separate issues and give me some great advise. Even though things are not resolved, it was good to talk to someone and straighten out my thoughts.
We had a chili and cobbler cook-off. I'd never made cobbler before so I thought I'd give it a try. I made blackberry cobbler, and I think I'll be tweaking the recipe a bit more in the future, but it tasted pretty good (even though it was super ugly). It was fun to try the chilis and cobblers and chat with some of my friends.
I am especially grateful for JJ and Kristi. They were both able to talk to me about two separate issues and give me some great advise. Even though things are not resolved, it was good to talk to someone and straighten out my thoughts.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Sustaining Callings
I suppose I have never really given much thought to sustaining someone's calling. I know that I am to support or help them in anyway I can, which I think I've done a fairly good job of most of my life.
But since I hadn't given it much thought, I had given even less thought to the other end of the spectrum. What does it mean when others sustain me in my calling?
It means that when I asked for one or two volunteers to read for the ward Christmas program I got six. It means that when I asked for six volunteers to sing in a group I got nine. It means when I asked people to attend choir so we could practise for our stake program and sacrament program, many people showed up.
I was so touched today by everyone's willingness to help me in my task. I am so grateful for the members of my branch who are so supportive of my efforts to have a good music program.
But since I hadn't given it much thought, I had given even less thought to the other end of the spectrum. What does it mean when others sustain me in my calling?
It means that when I asked for one or two volunteers to read for the ward Christmas program I got six. It means that when I asked for six volunteers to sing in a group I got nine. It means when I asked people to attend choir so we could practise for our stake program and sacrament program, many people showed up.
I was so touched today by everyone's willingness to help me in my task. I am so grateful for the members of my branch who are so supportive of my efforts to have a good music program.
My 100th Post!!
I have been blogging for a little more than a year now, and today I write my 100th post. It's a neat milestone that I am excited to celebrate during gratitude month.
Today I am grateful for inspiration. I have been struggling with putting together a rough outline of the ward Christmas program. I have been praying for guidance and doing a lot of studying, but didn't really have anything to write down other than a few songs I liked. I drove all the way out to the LDS bookstore to try to find some choir music which unfortunately turned out to be slim pickings. I did pick up one booklet, but I'm only using one song (assuming it's approved by the branch presidency). I've been feeling a little stressed out since I am supposed to have the outline to my branch presidency tomorrow or rather later this morning. Again, I began reading scripture, The Mortal Messiah, and hymns, hoping I would come up with something. Finally, around 10:30 tonight, ideas started flowing onto the paper. I had been asked to come up with a program that would take up approximately 40 minutes. I was a little daunted by that amount of time. Now, I am worried that 40 minutes is not enough time!! I might have to cut down a bit on my program.
Of course it is a very rough draft, but I am relieved and excited to have some measure of order to my thoughts. We'll just have to see what the branch president says!
Today I am grateful for inspiration. I have been struggling with putting together a rough outline of the ward Christmas program. I have been praying for guidance and doing a lot of studying, but didn't really have anything to write down other than a few songs I liked. I drove all the way out to the LDS bookstore to try to find some choir music which unfortunately turned out to be slim pickings. I did pick up one booklet, but I'm only using one song (assuming it's approved by the branch presidency). I've been feeling a little stressed out since I am supposed to have the outline to my branch presidency tomorrow or rather later this morning. Again, I began reading scripture, The Mortal Messiah, and hymns, hoping I would come up with something. Finally, around 10:30 tonight, ideas started flowing onto the paper. I had been asked to come up with a program that would take up approximately 40 minutes. I was a little daunted by that amount of time. Now, I am worried that 40 minutes is not enough time!! I might have to cut down a bit on my program.
Of course it is a very rough draft, but I am relieved and excited to have some measure of order to my thoughts. We'll just have to see what the branch president says!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Have I Told You Lately How Much I Love My Job?
Today, I am grateful for my job. It isn't always great, but I'm usually happy at my new branch. I may have already used this as a gratitude post, but I have to do it again. I've got something else to be grateful for.
For those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, you know how bad things were for me over the summer. For those of you who don't know, I was in a bad position with a bad manager and days away from getting fired. The manager had decided he didn't like me since I refused to follow some unethical practises and painted me to look like a very poor employee. To be fair, I was struggling with my sales. Anyway, I had been asking to be transferred to another position for several months before this new manager came in and nearly ruined my career, and just when the firing was imminent, the transfer went through. I have been so blessed and happy ever since.
And now, just two and a half months later, I have been put on notice again. But this time, it's good news. On December 11, 2008, I will be receiving an Award of Excellence. When I read the email this morning, I thought there must have been some mistake. I even went to my new (and much better) manager to ask him if he could double check for me. It was no mistake.
So I guess what I am really grateful for is having a manager who not only follows ethical bank practises himself, but respects my standards too. And it is nice he would find me worthy of this award. (I'm not really sure how it works, I thought your manager had to nominate you, but I was told by a co-worker today that the region nominates you and your manager approves it. I don't know, but I know he's involved.)
I am also grateful that I know the Lord is watching out for me. He has placed me in a position where I can flourish, and that makes me very happy.
For those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, you know how bad things were for me over the summer. For those of you who don't know, I was in a bad position with a bad manager and days away from getting fired. The manager had decided he didn't like me since I refused to follow some unethical practises and painted me to look like a very poor employee. To be fair, I was struggling with my sales. Anyway, I had been asking to be transferred to another position for several months before this new manager came in and nearly ruined my career, and just when the firing was imminent, the transfer went through. I have been so blessed and happy ever since.
And now, just two and a half months later, I have been put on notice again. But this time, it's good news. On December 11, 2008, I will be receiving an Award of Excellence. When I read the email this morning, I thought there must have been some mistake. I even went to my new (and much better) manager to ask him if he could double check for me. It was no mistake.
So I guess what I am really grateful for is having a manager who not only follows ethical bank practises himself, but respects my standards too. And it is nice he would find me worthy of this award. (I'm not really sure how it works, I thought your manager had to nominate you, but I was told by a co-worker today that the region nominates you and your manager approves it. I don't know, but I know he's involved.)
I am also grateful that I know the Lord is watching out for me. He has placed me in a position where I can flourish, and that makes me very happy.
Advice
After institute last night as I was headed to my car, a familiar voice called my name. It was Sister Whitley. She used to babysit Karen and me when we were little and she and her family have been some of my favorite people ever since. I have always looked up the the family members I knew. They are kind and loving people.
Anyway, we got to chatting and she asked me a question that got right to the heart of something that was bothering me. Even though I don't see her very often, she always knows what I need to talk about and what I need to hear. So, I told her what was up, and she told me a story from her young married life that really helped. The moral of the story was basically to put my trust in the Lord, which I know, but sometimes it helps to be reminded.
I don't know if I can properly express what the Whitley family means to me. I am so thankful that there are people on this earth like them, especially Sister Whitley.
This post is to make up for missing my gratitude entry 11/13/08
Anyway, we got to chatting and she asked me a question that got right to the heart of something that was bothering me. Even though I don't see her very often, she always knows what I need to talk about and what I need to hear. So, I told her what was up, and she told me a story from her young married life that really helped. The moral of the story was basically to put my trust in the Lord, which I know, but sometimes it helps to be reminded.
I don't know if I can properly express what the Whitley family means to me. I am so thankful that there are people on this earth like them, especially Sister Whitley.
This post is to make up for missing my gratitude entry 11/13/08
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I am grateful for new friends
I have recently been blessed to reconnect with old friends as well as make a few new friends. It has been very exciting for me to finally start to feel like I belong.
I am feeling more happy and confident. My friends lift me up. They don't care about my past other than they are sorry I had to live through it and happy that I have become a stronger person. It's so nice to be able to hang out and not worry if I said the wrong thing or if my shoes look stupid or whatever. I'm very grateful to have found people who like me for me.
I am feeling more happy and confident. My friends lift me up. They don't care about my past other than they are sorry I had to live through it and happy that I have become a stronger person. It's so nice to be able to hang out and not worry if I said the wrong thing or if my shoes look stupid or whatever. I'm very grateful to have found people who like me for me.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
What Happens When Your Lunch Plans Fall Through?
You go shopping!!
I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch, but she got stuck and couldn't make it. I decided to take the time to go out and run a few errands. I got a little side tracked though and ended up purchasing the most FABULOUS pair of boots ever!!
I love how sleek and shiny they are. I love the pink lining even though I know no one can see it while I am wearing them. I LOVE my new boots!!
Veteran's Day
I am thankful for a day to remember the Veterans who have served our country. Not everyone is willing to put their lives on the line for our freedom, so to those who serve (or have served) in the United States armed forces, I say thank you. I can't help but tear up when I hear the national anthem, or burst into full flowing tears when I see Veterans arrive home. I love this country and I love those who protect us.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Naps
I am grateful for naps. I know it sounds silly, but I really am!!
I got to bed at a fairly decent hour last night and slept almost all the way through the night. I got about eight hours of sleep, but woke up feeling tired and worn out. I have gunk in my throat again, so I guess it's tonsillitis. I was pretty nauseous and dizzy at work, and all I wanted to do was go home and curl up in bed. I got off at about 4:30 and came home knowing I had to be back at work at 6:30 for a meeting. I let the dogs out and fed them, and then laid down for about a half hour. I dozed a bit, but didn't really sleep. But when I got up to go back to work, I felt better. The nap gave me enough energy to get through the meeting and back home.
I really do miss naps. They were so unappreciated when I was a child. I would fight going down for a nap as hard as I could (as a matter of fact, the only way my daycare could get me to lay down was if they let me go to my childhood sweetheart's class). Now I would give anything if work would let me off for a couple hours in the afternoon to take a nap.
I got to bed at a fairly decent hour last night and slept almost all the way through the night. I got about eight hours of sleep, but woke up feeling tired and worn out. I have gunk in my throat again, so I guess it's tonsillitis. I was pretty nauseous and dizzy at work, and all I wanted to do was go home and curl up in bed. I got off at about 4:30 and came home knowing I had to be back at work at 6:30 for a meeting. I let the dogs out and fed them, and then laid down for about a half hour. I dozed a bit, but didn't really sleep. But when I got up to go back to work, I felt better. The nap gave me enough energy to get through the meeting and back home.
I really do miss naps. They were so unappreciated when I was a child. I would fight going down for a nap as hard as I could (as a matter of fact, the only way my daycare could get me to lay down was if they let me go to my childhood sweetheart's class). Now I would give anything if work would let me off for a couple hours in the afternoon to take a nap.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Callings
I am grateful for church callings.
In our church, we don't pay people to run everything. Each member of the congregation is called to serve in some aspect that keeps the church going. It is a blessing and a challenge all in one because it gives us the opportunity to learn and grow in an area in which we may not have previously been familiar.
Last Sunday I was issued such a calling. I am the ward Music Chair. I couldn't say anything before because I hadn't been set apart yet. That happened today after church. The two counselors of the bishopric who set me apart told me they had great news but they didn't want to tell me until after my blessing. (I should have been suspicious...) After the blessing, Brother Janis sat me down and told me what the wonderful news was. The bishopric had decided that we needed to have a special Christmas program the Sunday before Christmas. And who do you think they decided was the perfect person to create such a program? Yeah, that's right me.
When I was first issued my calling, my emotions were mostly calm but excited. I knew it would be a challenge to coordinate the music every Sunday. I'm also in charge of planning choir and special musical numbers. I need to have 2-3 of those a month. Plus we have no ward organist, so I have to go through a very small list of people who have admitted to knowing how to play the piano or organ and rotate them each Sunday. I was taking all this in, planning a calendar and generally feeling for the first time I'd been issued a calling that I could really dig deep into. I have no musical background, but I love music and am often touched by the spirit that is invited by good music. I was excited to share this love with the ward. Now, the full force of the task has hit me. If I wasn't feeling daunted before, I am now.
But luckily, I have musically talented friends who are excited to get to sing in church. And so far, the choir director has been very cooperative in helping me get some musical numbers together. So I am still very grateful for my calling. Now if I can just figure out the Christmas program...
In our church, we don't pay people to run everything. Each member of the congregation is called to serve in some aspect that keeps the church going. It is a blessing and a challenge all in one because it gives us the opportunity to learn and grow in an area in which we may not have previously been familiar.
Last Sunday I was issued such a calling. I am the ward Music Chair. I couldn't say anything before because I hadn't been set apart yet. That happened today after church. The two counselors of the bishopric who set me apart told me they had great news but they didn't want to tell me until after my blessing. (I should have been suspicious...) After the blessing, Brother Janis sat me down and told me what the wonderful news was. The bishopric had decided that we needed to have a special Christmas program the Sunday before Christmas. And who do you think they decided was the perfect person to create such a program? Yeah, that's right me.
When I was first issued my calling, my emotions were mostly calm but excited. I knew it would be a challenge to coordinate the music every Sunday. I'm also in charge of planning choir and special musical numbers. I need to have 2-3 of those a month. Plus we have no ward organist, so I have to go through a very small list of people who have admitted to knowing how to play the piano or organ and rotate them each Sunday. I was taking all this in, planning a calendar and generally feeling for the first time I'd been issued a calling that I could really dig deep into. I have no musical background, but I love music and am often touched by the spirit that is invited by good music. I was excited to share this love with the ward. Now, the full force of the task has hit me. If I wasn't feeling daunted before, I am now.
But luckily, I have musically talented friends who are excited to get to sing in church. And so far, the choir director has been very cooperative in helping me get some musical numbers together. So I am still very grateful for my calling. Now if I can just figure out the Christmas program...
Saturday, November 8, 2008
2 Days
So I have two days of gratitude to make-up:
1. I am grateful for vacation. I had some days I needed to take. The company has a use 'em or lose 'em policy. I didn't go anywhere or do much. I mostly stayed home and got a little bit of "fall cleaning" done. It was nice to be able to sleep in and relax and recharge.
2. I am grateful the weather is starting to cool down. I LOVE sweater weather!!
1. I am grateful for vacation. I had some days I needed to take. The company has a use 'em or lose 'em policy. I didn't go anywhere or do much. I mostly stayed home and got a little bit of "fall cleaning" done. It was nice to be able to sleep in and relax and recharge.
2. I am grateful the weather is starting to cool down. I LOVE sweater weather!!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Institute
I am grateful for institute. I am grateful for church in general, but I especially like having a mid-week class to get me back on track. I am grateful for the teachers and my other classmates. I am grateful for the insight their comments give me. I feel like it's a mini recharge to get me through to Sunday for the big one.
I am also grateful that I am beginning to feel like I belong. I am finding my place. I am so excited about my upcoming announcement and the excitement is spreading to other areas of my life as well. As a matter of fact, I even talked to a boy.
I left the house this evening feeling particularly lovely. I couldn't have asked for a better turnout on my hairdo and I was wearing a new sweater that I absolutely love. (For those of you who don't know me, me acknowledging I'm pretty is unusual. I tend to lack self confidence, so trust me, I'm not being arrogant.) He was new and alone so I walked right up to him (yes, me) during the break and introduced myself. I couldn't help noticing how cute he was. I wasn't even scared. But then it turned out his name was Eric... so I wasn't really interested any more. But he seemed nice and if he comes again, I'll be nice to him and maybe even make friends. If he wants anything more than that, well, I guess I'll just have to rename him Andy or something like that.
But meeting "Andy" isn't why I was so grateful for institute tonight. I was grateful for the lessons we had from the substitute. I was grateful for his pointing out new ways to see familiar scriptures. I was grateful to walk out of the classroom with a smile on my face and a lighter, happier spirit.
I am also grateful that I am beginning to feel like I belong. I am finding my place. I am so excited about my upcoming announcement and the excitement is spreading to other areas of my life as well. As a matter of fact, I even talked to a boy.
I left the house this evening feeling particularly lovely. I couldn't have asked for a better turnout on my hairdo and I was wearing a new sweater that I absolutely love. (For those of you who don't know me, me acknowledging I'm pretty is unusual. I tend to lack self confidence, so trust me, I'm not being arrogant.) He was new and alone so I walked right up to him (yes, me) during the break and introduced myself. I couldn't help noticing how cute he was. I wasn't even scared. But then it turned out his name was Eric... so I wasn't really interested any more. But he seemed nice and if he comes again, I'll be nice to him and maybe even make friends. If he wants anything more than that, well, I guess I'll just have to rename him Andy or something like that.
But meeting "Andy" isn't why I was so grateful for institute tonight. I was grateful for the lessons we had from the substitute. I was grateful for his pointing out new ways to see familiar scriptures. I was grateful to walk out of the classroom with a smile on my face and a lighter, happier spirit.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
I am Grateful for Email and the Internet
I know I take it for granted, but I love the internet, especially email. Nothing makes my day more than opening my email and seeing a note from a friend. I especially love how I can get things done by email or through internet research. It is fascinating what you can find out there in cyberspace.
Now, I know what you are thinking. Marilyn is actually grateful for the internet? You'd think I'd hate it, but I don't. As marvelous as the technology is, there are a lot of evil uses out there too. I despise the people who make such sinful substances so readily available almost as much as the people who abuse them. No supply without demand, right?
But used properly, as it was meant to be, the internet can be an amazing tool. Even just 15 or 20 years ago the only way to keep up with long-distance friends and family was an expensive calling plan or slow postal mail. Now I hop on the internet, check my email, IM friends, check blogs, and all that information is transmitted in seconds. Pretty neat, huh?
Now, I know what you are thinking. Marilyn is actually grateful for the internet? You'd think I'd hate it, but I don't. As marvelous as the technology is, there are a lot of evil uses out there too. I despise the people who make such sinful substances so readily available almost as much as the people who abuse them. No supply without demand, right?
But used properly, as it was meant to be, the internet can be an amazing tool. Even just 15 or 20 years ago the only way to keep up with long-distance friends and family was an expensive calling plan or slow postal mail. Now I hop on the internet, check my email, IM friends, check blogs, and all that information is transmitted in seconds. Pretty neat, huh?
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Freedom
I am grateful that I live in a country where we are free to choose who leads us. We have so many liberties that are not available in many countries. Even if we choose poorly, at least we have the right to do so.
Monday, November 3, 2008
I Am Thankful for Donuts
It's usually a Halloween tradition for my aunt and her family to host a homemade donut party for their friends. It seems like half the town shows up. Due to scheduling conflicts my aunt and her family decided to reschedule the event and had the party tonight.
As usual, it was a blast. There were kids running around everywhere and grownups taking time to catch up with each other while munching on fabulous donuts and other snacks. My favorite part was spending the evening in the kitchen with my aunt frying. It seemed like we would barely get the donuts out of the fryer and they would disappear.
I am so glad Aunt Mar didn't have to cancel the donut party this year. I love getting to catch up with her and my uncle and cousins. I especially love feeling like I can help out. My aunt has done so much for me and though flipping donuts in a fryer in no way compares, at least I feel like I'm giving a little something back.
As usual, it was a blast. There were kids running around everywhere and grownups taking time to catch up with each other while munching on fabulous donuts and other snacks. My favorite part was spending the evening in the kitchen with my aunt frying. It seemed like we would barely get the donuts out of the fryer and they would disappear.
I am so glad Aunt Mar didn't have to cancel the donut party this year. I love getting to catch up with her and my uncle and cousins. I especially love feeling like I can help out. My aunt has done so much for me and though flipping donuts in a fryer in no way compares, at least I feel like I'm giving a little something back.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Where do I begin?
So tonight as I write my gratitude post, I am feeling very full and blessed. I have so many things to be thankful for today, and I don't really know where to begin.
I'd like to first say thank you to Jay. I should have included him in yesterday's post and I am very sorry I didn't. Jay found out about my car troubles and stepped in unasked to help. When we first began looking at my car, he thought I had about $1100 worth of work that needed to be done. I said okay, because I had just about that much money saved up just for my car. Then, I went to the dentist. The dentist complimented me on my lovely teeth and then told me he wanted to do about $1000 worth of work on them. I went home in tears, not knowing what to do. The car had to come first, but I was in a lot of pain. I'd only saved up for my car. Jay said not to worry he could help, and he did. Jay was able to do some work himself and the rest he haggled the price down so I only spent about $600 on the car and was able to get my cavity filled. Jay even had my car cleaned inside and out. I thought I'd gotten a brand new car; it looked so great. So now the major work is done on my car and I can focus on my teeth. Jay really took a big load off my shoulders. I can't thank him enough.
The next thing I am thankful for is old friends coming home. My friend Kristi returned this week. I haven't seen her pretty much since the summer after I graduated from high school. I was so excited when I saw her at institute on Thursday night, I wanted to burst. I adore Kristi. She is so fun and out going as well as kind and sincere. I love hanging out with her. I can just completely be myself without any fear of judgement. The best part about Kristi is she can draw me out without even trying. She's such a happy person, I can't help but be happy too. I found myself so relaxed and even sociable today at church. I even ended up at choir and later at a game night with a few of the singles.
I'd like to tell you the other amazing thing that happened to me today, but I can't. I can say I feel so blessed. I got thrown a curve ball today that I never saw coming. But I am so excited about what could happen to me spiritually if I handle this curve ball correctly. Things are already starting to come together and I couldn't be happier. Details will be released next week.
I'd like to first say thank you to Jay. I should have included him in yesterday's post and I am very sorry I didn't. Jay found out about my car troubles and stepped in unasked to help. When we first began looking at my car, he thought I had about $1100 worth of work that needed to be done. I said okay, because I had just about that much money saved up just for my car. Then, I went to the dentist. The dentist complimented me on my lovely teeth and then told me he wanted to do about $1000 worth of work on them. I went home in tears, not knowing what to do. The car had to come first, but I was in a lot of pain. I'd only saved up for my car. Jay said not to worry he could help, and he did. Jay was able to do some work himself and the rest he haggled the price down so I only spent about $600 on the car and was able to get my cavity filled. Jay even had my car cleaned inside and out. I thought I'd gotten a brand new car; it looked so great. So now the major work is done on my car and I can focus on my teeth. Jay really took a big load off my shoulders. I can't thank him enough.
The next thing I am thankful for is old friends coming home. My friend Kristi returned this week. I haven't seen her pretty much since the summer after I graduated from high school. I was so excited when I saw her at institute on Thursday night, I wanted to burst. I adore Kristi. She is so fun and out going as well as kind and sincere. I love hanging out with her. I can just completely be myself without any fear of judgement. The best part about Kristi is she can draw me out without even trying. She's such a happy person, I can't help but be happy too. I found myself so relaxed and even sociable today at church. I even ended up at choir and later at a game night with a few of the singles.
I'd like to tell you the other amazing thing that happened to me today, but I can't. I can say I feel so blessed. I got thrown a curve ball today that I never saw coming. But I am so excited about what could happen to me spiritually if I handle this curve ball correctly. Things are already starting to come together and I couldn't be happier. Details will be released next week.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Let's give this another try
Today is November 1. This means we are now in the month of Thanksgiving. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I challenged myself last year to think of at least one thing every day that I am grateful for and post it on my blog. Sometimes I got busy so I didn't post every day, but I would make up for it when I could.
So I begin again to try to express to you how grateful I am for everything I have. With everything I have been given, it shouldn't be too hard, right?
Today, I am very thankful for my job. I know I complain a lot about the banking industry and my cranky customers, but I am so lucky to have a job right now. I am especially grateful for my position. I am basically a floater, so I am a teller or a personal banker as needed. I love it because I always feel needed, yet never have the enormous sales pressure that I had as a full time personal banker.
One of my coworkers was injured in a softball game a few weeks ago. I was really touched by how everyone stepped up to help him out and even brought him goodies to cheer him up. Another coworker is really struggling with her health. She had to be taken to the hospital on Thursday for an emergency blood transfusion. I am supposed to be on vacation this week, but there are a couple days (including today) where I will have to work to cover for her. I am happy to do it because that is the kind of person I am. What touched me the most as I worked today (knowing I should have gotten to sleep in), was that I realized that if the situation were reversed, Mom (that's her name, pronounced Moom), would step in for me. So would anybody who could cover for me. I realized what a great group of people I work with. Sure we have our cranky moments and our occasional bickering, but what family doesn't? As I thought about this today I realized I do think of my coworkers as family. How amazingly lucky am I?
And I am even more especially grateful for my work environment in light of my situation earlier this summer. I really do feel like Heavenly Father swooped in and saved me at the last moment. It wasn't like I just sat around and hoped He'd help me find a better job, I put out the effort to find one. I think because I showed I was willing to take whatever steps I needed to save myself (even though left on my own, I wouldn't have gotten a new job in time), Heavenly Father was able to bless me with this new and so much better position.
So I begin again to try to express to you how grateful I am for everything I have. With everything I have been given, it shouldn't be too hard, right?
Today, I am very thankful for my job. I know I complain a lot about the banking industry and my cranky customers, but I am so lucky to have a job right now. I am especially grateful for my position. I am basically a floater, so I am a teller or a personal banker as needed. I love it because I always feel needed, yet never have the enormous sales pressure that I had as a full time personal banker.
One of my coworkers was injured in a softball game a few weeks ago. I was really touched by how everyone stepped up to help him out and even brought him goodies to cheer him up. Another coworker is really struggling with her health. She had to be taken to the hospital on Thursday for an emergency blood transfusion. I am supposed to be on vacation this week, but there are a couple days (including today) where I will have to work to cover for her. I am happy to do it because that is the kind of person I am. What touched me the most as I worked today (knowing I should have gotten to sleep in), was that I realized that if the situation were reversed, Mom (that's her name, pronounced Moom), would step in for me. So would anybody who could cover for me. I realized what a great group of people I work with. Sure we have our cranky moments and our occasional bickering, but what family doesn't? As I thought about this today I realized I do think of my coworkers as family. How amazingly lucky am I?
And I am even more especially grateful for my work environment in light of my situation earlier this summer. I really do feel like Heavenly Father swooped in and saved me at the last moment. It wasn't like I just sat around and hoped He'd help me find a better job, I put out the effort to find one. I think because I showed I was willing to take whatever steps I needed to save myself (even though left on my own, I wouldn't have gotten a new job in time), Heavenly Father was able to bless me with this new and so much better position.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Birthday Blast
Sunday was my sister Fallon's 7th birthday. Wow, 7 already!!
I got to join Fallon, Dad, Tracey, and Fallon's grandma on a birthday adventure to Gattiland. (I think that is the name of it.) The pizza wasn't very good but the salad sure was!! We got to share a cookie cake and then Fallon opened her presents. I've never seen so many birthday presents for one little girl! It was fun watching Fallon open her presents. She got some good stuff.
After present opening, we got to play games. The place is set up sort of like Gameworks as far as the games go. They even had a pirate ship ride and bumper cars! Bumper cars was definitely Fallon's favorite. She would get this gleam in her eye and start hollering "AY AY AY AY AY!!" as she aimed for and then rammed you. It cracked me up.
We went back to Dad's place so Fallon and I could play her new games. I tried to teach her some Connect 4 strategy after she wiped the floor with me on her Wii. After that, Fallon got to unleash the candy in her princess castle pinata and then it was time to go.
I had a blast and I hope Fallon did too. Happy Birthday, Fallon! I love you!!
I got to join Fallon, Dad, Tracey, and Fallon's grandma on a birthday adventure to Gattiland. (I think that is the name of it.) The pizza wasn't very good but the salad sure was!! We got to share a cookie cake and then Fallon opened her presents. I've never seen so many birthday presents for one little girl! It was fun watching Fallon open her presents. She got some good stuff.
After present opening, we got to play games. The place is set up sort of like Gameworks as far as the games go. They even had a pirate ship ride and bumper cars! Bumper cars was definitely Fallon's favorite. She would get this gleam in her eye and start hollering "AY AY AY AY AY!!" as she aimed for and then rammed you. It cracked me up.
We went back to Dad's place so Fallon and I could play her new games. I tried to teach her some Connect 4 strategy after she wiped the floor with me on her Wii. After that, Fallon got to unleash the candy in her princess castle pinata and then it was time to go.
I had a blast and I hope Fallon did too. Happy Birthday, Fallon! I love you!!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
A Note From My Friend Vickie
She sent it to me as a "bumper sticker" via MySpace. It made me chuckle, so I thought I'd share it with the rest of you.
I Can't Feel My Face!!
Am I smiling? I can't tell!!
I had to go to the dentist today to get a cavity filled. My dentist was very kind, but I'm a giant wuss, so I was very nervous. It wasn't bad at all, but my left cheek and lip, even my left nose nostril were numb by the time we were done. I couldn't smile, pucker my lips or even flare my nose. (Go ahead, make funny jokes. I know I'm going to get them from some of you...) The hardest part is trying to rub my lips together to spread my vaseline. My top lip only moves one way right now. Not cool.
This is my best effort to smile:
I had to go to the dentist today to get a cavity filled. My dentist was very kind, but I'm a giant wuss, so I was very nervous. It wasn't bad at all, but my left cheek and lip, even my left nose nostril were numb by the time we were done. I couldn't smile, pucker my lips or even flare my nose. (Go ahead, make funny jokes. I know I'm going to get them from some of you...) The hardest part is trying to rub my lips together to spread my vaseline. My top lip only moves one way right now. Not cool.
This is my best effort to smile:
Believe it or not but I was smiling as hard as I could... My next step is to get my wisdom teeth out. I wonder if I'll be able to smile at all then.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Speaking of Dancing...
I'm not the only one learning new moves. Jay (Mom's boyfriend) took Mom to a (old-people) singles' dance a few weeks ago. Apparently they had dance lessons and this is a photo of Mom practicing with Jay.
Okay so it's not really Mom with Jay. It's really a picture of some old guy dancing with Mom, but Jay wouldn't let me post the picture unless I promised to photo shop his head into the picture in place of the other guy. Obviously the head is a bit big, and Jay's really not that tall. Plus, his hands are not that white. The other guy was pretty pasty. As unprofessional as my photo shop skills are, this picture is definitely better than the original.
So far, we really like Jay. "So far" is my disclaimer so I can change my mind if I decide I want to. So Jay seems like a good guy so far. And that's all I know.
My Columbus Day Weekend
I worked on Saturday and I don't really remember much of the rest of the day.
I was pretty moody on Sunday, and felt very lonely. I know part of it was me, but I felt like I was being ignored. I left church early in tears, feeling like I didn't belong. I didn't know what to do, so I called my dad. He gave me some good advice and had me feeling much better by the time I got home. I was still feeling too unwanted to join the ward potluck that afternoon so I stayed home and played with my puppies. It was nice to have a quiet day to myself.
Monday I woke up feeling quite happy. I had plans to spend part of the day with my friend JJ. I'm always excited for my adventures with JJ. We are both very smart individually, but put us together and we lose all common sense. Especially when we are sleepy. It's the Mormon version of being drunk I guess. :) We went to see Wall-E at the dollar theater. I saw it earlier in the summer when it first came out, but I enjoyed getting to see it again. It's super cute. Then we decided to stop by FHE. JJ didn't want to stay longer than the devotional and since she was my ride and the lesson was salsa dancing, I was fine with our plan to leave early and go hang out. But, her boyfriend Brandon was there and kind of messed that up for us. He talked JJ into staying to dance for "just a few minutes". I thought it was sweet that he wanted to dance with her. I have almost no rhythm, and my hips do NOT move, but I got the feet part down alright. Then, the teacher told us to pair up. I don't think I processed what she was saying until JJ walked up to this guy named Chris and asked him to be my partner. I was a bit embarrassed that I had to have someone ask a guy to dance with me, but she was trying to be mindful of the fact that guys aren't my favorite people. When I realized I would have to dance with someone, she said, "Don't worry, Chris is engaged. He's harmless."
I didn't care that Chris was engaged. He was going to be infringing on my personal bubble. I was going to have to touch his hands. (For those of you who don't know, this is one of my OCD issues that has cropped up in the last year or so. I've always had issues with people invading my personal space, but touching people hasn't always been a problem.) I didn't want to stand around like an idiot either, so I took a deep breath and I danced. I focused on counting the steps (OCD people find counting very relaxing...) and it wasn't bad at all. Chris already knew how to salsa a little bit, so he was a good partner. He was very patient and I realized I was just fine. Then, the teacher told us to switch partners.
Before I could panic again, JJ was walking towards me. I realized she meant for me to dance with Brandon. I really appreciated her looking out for her crazy friend. Brandon was fun to dance with too, but neither one of us really knew what we were doing so we just had a good time laughing at ourselves.
Finally the teacher released us to practise on our own or do whatever we wanted. A guy JJ knows named Josh (or John, but I think it was Josh) came over and was showing her and Brandon what to do. Josh is an excellent dancer and had them dancing like pros in just a few minutes. Then he offered to teach me. He made me close my eyes and just follow his lead. He said, "If you look at your feet while you are dancing, you'll dance into them." He was right. When I focused on him or when I closed my eyes and just let him lead me, I felt like I was floating. I could do the steps and the turns with something very near ease (my hips still didn't move though. Oh well, what can I say? I'm white...). I wasn't even counting anymore and when we were done I realized I had been dancing with a big sweaty guy and I was all sweaty too, and didn't care. BIG step for me to touch a sweaty person and not completely flip out. (Remind me to tell you about my problem with wet money sometime...)
I went home and tried to practise my new moves. They were completely gone. I guess I need a good leader to be able to dance.
I had soooo much fun last night. Even though it mostly happened by accident. I wasn't even going to go to FHE. But I am so glad I did.
I was pretty moody on Sunday, and felt very lonely. I know part of it was me, but I felt like I was being ignored. I left church early in tears, feeling like I didn't belong. I didn't know what to do, so I called my dad. He gave me some good advice and had me feeling much better by the time I got home. I was still feeling too unwanted to join the ward potluck that afternoon so I stayed home and played with my puppies. It was nice to have a quiet day to myself.
Monday I woke up feeling quite happy. I had plans to spend part of the day with my friend JJ. I'm always excited for my adventures with JJ. We are both very smart individually, but put us together and we lose all common sense. Especially when we are sleepy. It's the Mormon version of being drunk I guess. :) We went to see Wall-E at the dollar theater. I saw it earlier in the summer when it first came out, but I enjoyed getting to see it again. It's super cute. Then we decided to stop by FHE. JJ didn't want to stay longer than the devotional and since she was my ride and the lesson was salsa dancing, I was fine with our plan to leave early and go hang out. But, her boyfriend Brandon was there and kind of messed that up for us. He talked JJ into staying to dance for "just a few minutes". I thought it was sweet that he wanted to dance with her. I have almost no rhythm, and my hips do NOT move, but I got the feet part down alright. Then, the teacher told us to pair up. I don't think I processed what she was saying until JJ walked up to this guy named Chris and asked him to be my partner. I was a bit embarrassed that I had to have someone ask a guy to dance with me, but she was trying to be mindful of the fact that guys aren't my favorite people. When I realized I would have to dance with someone, she said, "Don't worry, Chris is engaged. He's harmless."
I didn't care that Chris was engaged. He was going to be infringing on my personal bubble. I was going to have to touch his hands. (For those of you who don't know, this is one of my OCD issues that has cropped up in the last year or so. I've always had issues with people invading my personal space, but touching people hasn't always been a problem.) I didn't want to stand around like an idiot either, so I took a deep breath and I danced. I focused on counting the steps (OCD people find counting very relaxing...) and it wasn't bad at all. Chris already knew how to salsa a little bit, so he was a good partner. He was very patient and I realized I was just fine. Then, the teacher told us to switch partners.
Before I could panic again, JJ was walking towards me. I realized she meant for me to dance with Brandon. I really appreciated her looking out for her crazy friend. Brandon was fun to dance with too, but neither one of us really knew what we were doing so we just had a good time laughing at ourselves.
Finally the teacher released us to practise on our own or do whatever we wanted. A guy JJ knows named Josh (or John, but I think it was Josh) came over and was showing her and Brandon what to do. Josh is an excellent dancer and had them dancing like pros in just a few minutes. Then he offered to teach me. He made me close my eyes and just follow his lead. He said, "If you look at your feet while you are dancing, you'll dance into them." He was right. When I focused on him or when I closed my eyes and just let him lead me, I felt like I was floating. I could do the steps and the turns with something very near ease (my hips still didn't move though. Oh well, what can I say? I'm white...). I wasn't even counting anymore and when we were done I realized I had been dancing with a big sweaty guy and I was all sweaty too, and didn't care. BIG step for me to touch a sweaty person and not completely flip out. (Remind me to tell you about my problem with wet money sometime...)
I went home and tried to practise my new moves. They were completely gone. I guess I need a good leader to be able to dance.
I had soooo much fun last night. Even though it mostly happened by accident. I wasn't even going to go to FHE. But I am so glad I did.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Woo hoo!!
I got a text message from my good friend Darrell yesterday. I am so incredibly excited for him and his wife Jillian:
Congratulations to both of you on your budding family. Thanks for letting me know!!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Too many projects!!
Ever take on more than you can keep up with? I think it's a result of having NOTHING to do. Now I have too much!! I have three books I've promised to read, an afgan to finish and a story to write plus a couple of personal projects. Plus, I still have a couple pictures and a story or two I wanted to post on here, but I keep running out of time.
Oh well, I like being busy. It makes the time go by faster. I'm taking a break tonight and going to institute. Our new teacher is very sweet but easily distracted. I have to pay extra attention to keep up.
Only ten more weeks 'til Karen comes home!!!
Oh well, I like being busy. It makes the time go by faster. I'm taking a break tonight and going to institute. Our new teacher is very sweet but easily distracted. I have to pay extra attention to keep up.
Only ten more weeks 'til Karen comes home!!!
Monday, September 29, 2008
I wouldn't call myself a psychic
but I wasn't surprised that Congress defeated President Bush's bailout plan. I don't really understand people sometimes. I know it wasn't the best plan: American taxpayers would essentially have been bailing out the idiots of some big businesses who made stupid decisions. But something needed to happen. I was really impressed with President Bush's quick response and his encouragement to Congress to try to make that something come to life. But the House of Representatives were more concerned about their upcoming election and their own popularity with their voters than the life of the American economy. As Wall Street watched the vote in the House, the Dow dropped 777 points. This is the greatest drop in a single day ever.
Let's face it. The general American population doesn't exactly understand the workings of the economy, banking, investing, really finance in general. That's why we have investment brokers, bankers, mortgage brokers (not that they've done us any good these last few years...), etc. I'm a banker and I don't understand everything either. But I am learning.
I've basically taken a crash course in FDIC insurance this past week. People are panicking and spreading their money from bank to bank. They just don't understand how to make FDIC insurance work for them. They also don't realize that even if their bank fails and the FDIC takes over, they'll be lucky to see that money within their lifetimes. It's frustrating to try to educate people who don't want to be educated. They've got their minds made up and they too are making silly decisions about their money. They're listening to radio "advisers" rather than researching the FDIC and banking for themselves. I guess if you hear it on the radio, it must be true.
At least the majority of my customers have stopped complaining about interest rates. I know deposit rates are super low and loan rates are super high. It's part of the natural cycle of economy, but of course things have been worsened by the latest credit scares. But if a bank is offering you 4.5-5% interest on a CD or money market right now, watch out. It's one of the biggest indicators the bank is failing and scrambling to rebuild their capital. I just have to shake my head when a customer insists on taking out all their money to go to Washington Mutual or Wachovia or wherever for the higher interest rates and then hearing that bank failed a week later. (Wachovia didn't actually fail... They sold themselves to Citigroup this morning when they realized failure was imminent. I do have to applaud Wachovia's leaders for that move...)
I could have told anyone who was asking last year this was going to happen. I could have told you five years ago even. As much as we'd like to, no one can stay on top forever. We'll eventually get through this and recover, but how long will it take? Can our country's leaders come together and forget their political ambitions and do what is right for the little guy like me?
What frustrates me the most are the big-wigs at the failing corporations. CEO's who knew they were writing up bad loans and shuffling around their books are getting to "retire" with multi-million dollar compensation packages weeks before their companies officially fail. Look at recently failed Washington Mutual. Their assets were sold to JP Morgan Chase just last week, and the parent company has filed for bankruptcy. But somehow, their new CEO who took over just 17 days before the failure is poised to get a $20 million paycheck. What I could do with 1% of that money... I could retire.
On the heels of recent natural disasters with more on the way, the near future looks very bleak.
But somehow I am still okay. There is no panic or fear in me. Maybe it's because I am used to life being difficult, or maybe it's because these really are the latter days and disasters like these are to be expected. I am a survivor. We are survivors. America has the ability to recover and become the powerhouse it once was. If we can return to the values upon which this country was founded: fairness, equality, integrity. Can we try adding honesty to that list?
We truly are living in historical times. Consider: we are poised for a greater fall than the Great Depression. How our government responds will determine how bad and how long this recession will last.
I thank my lucky stars, and mostly my Heavenly Father for my job. I work for the biggest, strongest bank in the United States. (If my bank fails, we are all dead...) I am lucky to have little worry for my job. The things I am learning can only serve to benefit me, my family, and my friends for the rest of my life. I've been grateful since day one at AllianceBernstein that I worked in the financial sector when I realized just exactly what the Lord was trying to make sure I learned. He was preparing me for not only the end of my marriage, but for today's economy. I know how to survive this on a personal level.
Let's hope Congress can figure it out for the rest of the nation.
Let's face it. The general American population doesn't exactly understand the workings of the economy, banking, investing, really finance in general. That's why we have investment brokers, bankers, mortgage brokers (not that they've done us any good these last few years...), etc. I'm a banker and I don't understand everything either. But I am learning.
I've basically taken a crash course in FDIC insurance this past week. People are panicking and spreading their money from bank to bank. They just don't understand how to make FDIC insurance work for them. They also don't realize that even if their bank fails and the FDIC takes over, they'll be lucky to see that money within their lifetimes. It's frustrating to try to educate people who don't want to be educated. They've got their minds made up and they too are making silly decisions about their money. They're listening to radio "advisers" rather than researching the FDIC and banking for themselves. I guess if you hear it on the radio, it must be true.
At least the majority of my customers have stopped complaining about interest rates. I know deposit rates are super low and loan rates are super high. It's part of the natural cycle of economy, but of course things have been worsened by the latest credit scares. But if a bank is offering you 4.5-5% interest on a CD or money market right now, watch out. It's one of the biggest indicators the bank is failing and scrambling to rebuild their capital. I just have to shake my head when a customer insists on taking out all their money to go to Washington Mutual or Wachovia or wherever for the higher interest rates and then hearing that bank failed a week later. (Wachovia didn't actually fail... They sold themselves to Citigroup this morning when they realized failure was imminent. I do have to applaud Wachovia's leaders for that move...)
I could have told anyone who was asking last year this was going to happen. I could have told you five years ago even. As much as we'd like to, no one can stay on top forever. We'll eventually get through this and recover, but how long will it take? Can our country's leaders come together and forget their political ambitions and do what is right for the little guy like me?
What frustrates me the most are the big-wigs at the failing corporations. CEO's who knew they were writing up bad loans and shuffling around their books are getting to "retire" with multi-million dollar compensation packages weeks before their companies officially fail. Look at recently failed Washington Mutual. Their assets were sold to JP Morgan Chase just last week, and the parent company has filed for bankruptcy. But somehow, their new CEO who took over just 17 days before the failure is poised to get a $20 million paycheck. What I could do with 1% of that money... I could retire.
On the heels of recent natural disasters with more on the way, the near future looks very bleak.
But somehow I am still okay. There is no panic or fear in me. Maybe it's because I am used to life being difficult, or maybe it's because these really are the latter days and disasters like these are to be expected. I am a survivor. We are survivors. America has the ability to recover and become the powerhouse it once was. If we can return to the values upon which this country was founded: fairness, equality, integrity. Can we try adding honesty to that list?
We truly are living in historical times. Consider: we are poised for a greater fall than the Great Depression. How our government responds will determine how bad and how long this recession will last.
I thank my lucky stars, and mostly my Heavenly Father for my job. I work for the biggest, strongest bank in the United States. (If my bank fails, we are all dead...) I am lucky to have little worry for my job. The things I am learning can only serve to benefit me, my family, and my friends for the rest of my life. I've been grateful since day one at AllianceBernstein that I worked in the financial sector when I realized just exactly what the Lord was trying to make sure I learned. He was preparing me for not only the end of my marriage, but for today's economy. I know how to survive this on a personal level.
Let's hope Congress can figure it out for the rest of the nation.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Quickie
I actually have several things I want to post about, but I'm sick so we're all going to have to wait.
Most importantly Happy Sweet 16 to my cousin Emily. I can't believe she's 1
6 already!! It seems like just last summer I was taking her out into Grandma's front lawn to look for the bunnies. I still remember her calling "mere, bunny, mere!" What a cutie. Emily's so sweet and so smart and adorable. Good luck to Aunt Mar and Uncle Jonathan keeping the doors bolted. The boys are coming!!
6 already!! It seems like just last summer I was taking her out into Grandma's front lawn to look for the bunnies. I still remember her calling "mere, bunny, mere!" What a cutie. Emily's so sweet and so smart and adorable. Good luck to Aunt Mar and Uncle Jonathan keeping the doors bolted. The boys are coming!!Monday, September 8, 2008
Happy Birthday Aunt Mar!!
Saturday September 6 was my Aunt Mar's birthday. She says it's the best day of the year. I suppose I can let that slide... It was a pretty great day after all.
My aunt's name is Marilyn (I know isn't it the best name ever?) just like me. Or should I say my name is like hers? We call her Mar because when I was very very little I apparently didn't like sharing my name. I remember being shocked when I first heard this story. After all, who wouldn't want to share her name with such a cool aunt? Anyway, supposedly I would cry and refuse to even go to Aunt Mar if anyone called her Marilyn. Once they started calling her Mar, I was fine and decided we could be buds. The name stuck. It's ironic that Mar has sort of turned out to be my nickname too. My family (except Karen) doesn't call me Mar, because it's confusing enough as it is, but most of my friends do. I guess I'm finally mature enough to let the name sharing slide too...
But back to the real reason for this post: To wish my aunt a totally awesome birthday!! (I guess I'm not over the hairspray fumes yet...)
Aunt Mar, I hope you enjoyed "the best day of they year". I know I did, even though I didn't get to spend it with you. I want you to know I am so happy we share the same name. My name reminds me of who I am, where I come from, and what kind of woman I want to become. I've been copying you ever since I can remember. My little private joke has been that I want to be so much like you I even developed the same allergies. I love you so much and I am so incredibly grateful for you and your family and how much love and support you have given me these last few years. Especially this last year. I couldn't have made it this far this fast without you.
See you on the 2nd best day of the year!!
Oh yeah, and thanks for letting me steal some of your pictures!!
The day the 80's returned
Every fall my bank spends 6 weeks collecting money from the associates and our customers who would like to donate to the American Heart Association. Each week on Friday, we have a theme to get the customers excited about donating. One week we had Hula for Hearts (it was awesome, but unfortunately I didn't get any pictures), then we had Hats for Hearts, and this last week it was Hair for Hearts. Our theme was 80's hair...
Some of the tellers went all out, even dressing up for the day. Sorry, but I didn't get any pictures of them either. I took these pics with my cell phone when I got home. I didn't have any 80's clothes, so I decided to go all out with my hair. I had to look up online directions for teasing my hair as I'd never done it before. I could only guess at what I was doing, but everyone loved how it turned out. I even got called back from lunch so I could show a customer my hair. Me, I was so embarrassed I wanted to call in sick. I couldn't wait to get home and wash it out.
No, my hair did not eat my face. This is the back of my head...
Some of the tellers went all out, even dressing up for the day. Sorry, but I didn't get any pictures of them either. I took these pics with my cell phone when I got home. I didn't have any 80's clothes, so I decided to go all out with my hair. I had to look up online directions for teasing my hair as I'd never done it before. I could only guess at what I was doing, but everyone loved how it turned out. I even got called back from lunch so I could show a customer my hair. Me, I was so embarrassed I wanted to call in sick. I couldn't wait to get home and wash it out.
No, my hair did not eat my face. This is the back of my head...
The color of my hair blends in with the curtain. The arrow shows just how tall it was.
The next day, I couldn't stop touching my hair to feel how soft (and not tall) it was. Now I finally understand the phrase "Narly, dude!!"
Friday, August 29, 2008
Just a little update
So this week hasn't been anything new or out of the ordinary. I've been busy with work. I still love my new banking center though.
There really weren't any activities for the singles this week. There's always FHE, but they were doing it Olympic style. I didn't know what that meant, but it sounded a little intimidating, so I skipped it. So I find myself adventureless this week, and I am actually a little sad. I can't wait for Sunday so I can go to the singles' ward again. Isn't that odd? Me--excited and looking forward to and missing hanging out with a bunch of single people...
On a fun note, I got a new bluetooth headset for my phone. I have the Sony Ericsson Walkman (which I LOVE) and the headset will let me listen to my music without wires connecting me to my phone. It will let me interrupt songs to take calls. I was pretty happy. This means I have an extra bluetooth headset that I am willing to give away for free if your name starts with K-A-R-E-N. (That is if she wants it and will answer her phone so I can tell her she can have it.) All others who wish for a free headset will have to wait to see if Karen wants it first.
In the form of an apology and a congratulations (see, I can multi-task), I want to say Happy Birthday and so sorry I missed it to my cousin Nathan. Nathan is the most awesome teenage boy I have ever met. They don't make them better than Nathan. He is a great example of kindness, thoughtfulness, and quiet intelligence. He's super smart, but doesn't feel he has to shout it out to the world. Nathan, I admire you so much, and I am so sorry I missed your birthday. I hope it was as awesome as you are. (We'll just ignore the fact that I am now officially old since you are 18...)
Isn't Nathan so handsome? I suspect he leaves a trail of twitterpated girls behind him and doesn't even know it...
There really weren't any activities for the singles this week. There's always FHE, but they were doing it Olympic style. I didn't know what that meant, but it sounded a little intimidating, so I skipped it. So I find myself adventureless this week, and I am actually a little sad. I can't wait for Sunday so I can go to the singles' ward again. Isn't that odd? Me--excited and looking forward to and missing hanging out with a bunch of single people...
On a fun note, I got a new bluetooth headset for my phone. I have the Sony Ericsson Walkman (which I LOVE) and the headset will let me listen to my music without wires connecting me to my phone. It will let me interrupt songs to take calls. I was pretty happy. This means I have an extra bluetooth headset that I am willing to give away for free if your name starts with K-A-R-E-N. (That is if she wants it and will answer her phone so I can tell her she can have it.) All others who wish for a free headset will have to wait to see if Karen wants it first.
In the form of an apology and a congratulations (see, I can multi-task), I want to say Happy Birthday and so sorry I missed it to my cousin Nathan. Nathan is the most awesome teenage boy I have ever met. They don't make them better than Nathan. He is a great example of kindness, thoughtfulness, and quiet intelligence. He's super smart, but doesn't feel he has to shout it out to the world. Nathan, I admire you so much, and I am so sorry I missed your birthday. I hope it was as awesome as you are. (We'll just ignore the fact that I am now officially old since you are 18...)
Isn't Nathan so handsome? I suspect he leaves a trail of twitterpated girls behind him and doesn't even know it...Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Another Adventure in Singles' Land
So in my effort to brave a new frontier, I went out Tuesday night and socialized.
Jessica and her sister Chontel hosted a going away dinner for one of the women in the ward. Her name is Lori and she's been accepted to a law school in Chicago. I didn't really know Lori, so I wasn't planning on attending, but since Jessica and Chontel have been so good to me, I wanted to support them. I ended up having a really nice time.
The guest of honor, Lori, reading a goodbye note from Wade. It was really sweet: Chontel and Jessica got a notebook and had all of Lori's friends write notes to cheer her when she is off in Chicago missing her old friends.
Almost 30 people showed up at the Red Hot and Blue in Irving. (In case you don't know, Red Hot and Blue is a fabulous bbq place. I had never been before last night, but can I just say YUM?!!) I felt a lot less pressure since 30 people stretched along several tables is a lot less overwhelming than 180 people in one room. I didn't even have to worry about talking to everyone, just the people in my immediate area. It helped that the girl sitting across from me was new too.
Jessica, Chontel, and a guy named Patrick tried to teach me everyone's names. Of all the people that were there, I think maybe 6 new names stuck. Some of the group tried to quiz me later, and I must say I failed miserably. Everybody was really nice though. Jessica and I planned a cover story that worked out quite nicely. If I got asked if where I moved from, I just said I was from Flower Mound but had just decided to start attending the singles' ward. No more awkward questions or silences. I know everybody will figure it out, but I'd rather not have to talk about it just yet.
The person I ended up sitting next to was named Jared. He is a very nice, very smar
t guy who seemed kind of quiet like me. It wasn't even scary (after about five minutes) talking to him. While we were talking, I found out his brother is someone I knew in high school. Ugh. High school... I hate remembering high school, and I especially hate remembering this guy's brother and his friends. It's not his fault I was an awkward teenager (again keeping a terrible secret from my friends). His brother was always very nice to me, but we had a little misunderstanding that the Mormon crowd kind of blew out of proportion.
I also met Alinda (I think I spelled that right-she's new like me), Morgan, Erica, Jennifer, Patrick (who wasn't very helpful in the name quizzes -he gives very far-fetched clues), and Christine (I think...) So if I got the names right that makes seven people I didn't already know. Oh yeah, and there was this really loud guy named Algot. I don't think I actually met him, but he's not someone easily forgotten. Does anyone remember my friend Amy? Yeah, he could be her twin brother.
So all in all, other than the reminder of a not so happy experience, I had fun. It was a lot easier this time, and everyone was so understanding of the "new girl" being shy and forgetting names. It also helped that I had Jessica and Chontel as a comfort zone. (I hope they don't mind being my comfort zone.) I'm actually looking forward to my next adventure in Singles' Land.
Jessica and her sister Chontel hosted a going away dinner for one of the women in the ward. Her name is Lori and she's been accepted to a law school in Chicago. I didn't really know Lori, so I wasn't planning on attending, but since Jessica and Chontel have been so good to me, I wanted to support them. I ended up having a really nice time.
The guest of honor, Lori, reading a goodbye note from Wade. It was really sweet: Chontel and Jessica got a notebook and had all of Lori's friends write notes to cheer her when she is off in Chicago missing her old friends.
Almost 30 people showed up at the Red Hot and Blue in Irving. (In case you don't know, Red Hot and Blue is a fabulous bbq place. I had never been before last night, but can I just say YUM?!!) I felt a lot less pressure since 30 people stretched along several tables is a lot less overwhelming than 180 people in one room. I didn't even have to worry about talking to everyone, just the people in my immediate area. It helped that the girl sitting across from me was new too.
Jessica, Chontel, and a guy named Patrick tried to teach me everyone's names. Of all the people that were there, I think maybe 6 new names stuck. Some of the group tried to quiz me later, and I must say I failed miserably. Everybody was really nice though. Jessica and I planned a cover story that worked out quite nicely. If I got asked if where I moved from, I just said I was from Flower Mound but had just decided to start attending the singles' ward. No more awkward questions or silences. I know everybody will figure it out, but I'd rather not have to talk about it just yet.
The person I ended up sitting next to was named Jared. He is a very nice, very smar
t guy who seemed kind of quiet like me. It wasn't even scary (after about five minutes) talking to him. While we were talking, I found out his brother is someone I knew in high school. Ugh. High school... I hate remembering high school, and I especially hate remembering this guy's brother and his friends. It's not his fault I was an awkward teenager (again keeping a terrible secret from my friends). His brother was always very nice to me, but we had a little misunderstanding that the Mormon crowd kind of blew out of proportion.Jared is on my right; Jessica is on my left. I stole these photos from Chontel's facebook album. (Thanks Chontel.)
I also met Alinda (I think I spelled that right-she's new like me), Morgan, Erica, Jennifer, Patrick (who wasn't very helpful in the name quizzes -he gives very far-fetched clues), and Christine (I think...) So if I got the names right that makes seven people I didn't already know. Oh yeah, and there was this really loud guy named Algot. I don't think I actually met him, but he's not someone easily forgotten. Does anyone remember my friend Amy? Yeah, he could be her twin brother.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
The Singles' Ward
A few weeks ago, I told my bishop I felt like I was ready to attend the singles' ward. It was a tough decision that I had wrestled with all summer. I really wanted to move to Utah, but am struggling with my ability to get there. So I felt I needed to do the next best thing: the singles' ward.
I was getting ready for church one day thinking about the pros and cons of leaving my primary children to go to the singles' ward, when all of a sudden a thought (that wasn't mine) popped into my head: "Why are we still talking about this? You know what the right decision is." That was the day I told my bishop I was ready to move on. He informed me a couple of weeks later that the following Sunday would be my last day, and I was free to attend the singles' ward after that.
I said goodbye to my class that next week. I prepared a card for each of them with their names, the meaning of their names, and why I was grateful to have them in my class. Coincidently, the lesson called for me to bring a treat to share with all the kids, which I found especially fitting. I gave them a group hug and told them how much I loved them (barely holding back the tears) before I let them go that last time. They were all five, so I don't know how much they understood or cared, but I felt it important to stress their importance to me.
I intended to go the the single's ward that next week, but I was fortunate enough to be invited to share my cousin's birthday and went to church with them so I could see him ordained as a deacon. (Again, thanks Ashton for that totally awesome experience!!)
Then, two Sundays ago, I got all dressed up, straightened my hair (which made me a little late) and headed off for the singles' ward. I got to the building to find the chapel full of families. Not a "single" soul in sight. I waited out sacrament in the foyer, and when it was over I went searching for singles thinking perhaps they met in a different part of the building. Still no singles could be found. Feeling shy and discouraged, I went home and emailed a friend of mine to find out why I could find no singles. She emailed me back to let me know I had gone to the wrong building. (I asked three separate people, and they all told me the same place!!)
So, this last Sunday, I again dressed up (but left my hair curly-why go to all the trouble if you might not even find the singles? Besides I like my hair curly) and headed out on my trek to find the singles' ward.
I found them. My friend, Jessica, and her sister let me join them for a very nice day of church. I enjoyed my meetings very much. There were a few people I recognized from institute, so I said hello (I found myself unable to think of anything else to say) and mostly stuck to Jessica. I had always thought of her as shy like me, but apparently she's come out of her shell. She took me around introducing me to so many people. I don't remember anyone's name that I didn't already know.
I felt bad, because people would ask, "Oh, did you just move in?" Unable to lie I'd just say "No."
"So, did you just decide to come to the single's ward?"
"Yes."
I didn't want to have to explain that I was divorced. A few people already know, and word will get around but I didn't want to have to say, "Hi, I'm Marilyn. I just got divorced," and then have to answer all the ensuing questions.
At this point Jessica (bless her) would step in and say, "Marilyn's totally awesome, you'll love getting to know her." I was very grateful to her, even though she was pushing me a little faster than I was ready to go. I had imagined myself just blending into the scenery, but Jessica wouldn't have any of that.
Most of the guys were nice while Jessica introduced me, but that was it. (Which was fine, I probably would've died of lack of oxygen due to hyperventilation if any of them had tried to carry on a conversation with me. I keep telling myself it's time to make friends, but it's so scary to talk to guys. It's never been scary before, but I guess with everything I've been through, I must've put up a wall to try to save myself from getting hurt again while I'm still so fragile.) But the girls: holy cow, I almost did hyperventilate after relief society!! There were so many women, and they all wanted to say hi and welcome me to the ward. It was very nice that they were all so friendly, but also very overwhelming.
They had me sign up for an email notice so I'll know what the activities are each week. Jessica was giving me the run down for this week and I was just blown away by how much they do. They get together 3 or more times a week!! I don't know if I am ready for that. I'll definitely go to institute again when it starts back up, and maybe FHE if I get off work in time... but I don't know if I could handle much more.
I guess I feel a little lost. I had the feeling I had taken a step in the right direction, but it was a blind step. I have no idea what I am supposed to do next and that is a very scary feeling. I have put my faith in the Lord, and I know I am being watched over and lead back toward the path I am supposed to be taking, but I'm something of a control freak. I guess I just have to learn to let go...
I was getting ready for church one day thinking about the pros and cons of leaving my primary children to go to the singles' ward, when all of a sudden a thought (that wasn't mine) popped into my head: "Why are we still talking about this? You know what the right decision is." That was the day I told my bishop I was ready to move on. He informed me a couple of weeks later that the following Sunday would be my last day, and I was free to attend the singles' ward after that.
I said goodbye to my class that next week. I prepared a card for each of them with their names, the meaning of their names, and why I was grateful to have them in my class. Coincidently, the lesson called for me to bring a treat to share with all the kids, which I found especially fitting. I gave them a group hug and told them how much I loved them (barely holding back the tears) before I let them go that last time. They were all five, so I don't know how much they understood or cared, but I felt it important to stress their importance to me.
I intended to go the the single's ward that next week, but I was fortunate enough to be invited to share my cousin's birthday and went to church with them so I could see him ordained as a deacon. (Again, thanks Ashton for that totally awesome experience!!)
Then, two Sundays ago, I got all dressed up, straightened my hair (which made me a little late) and headed off for the singles' ward. I got to the building to find the chapel full of families. Not a "single" soul in sight. I waited out sacrament in the foyer, and when it was over I went searching for singles thinking perhaps they met in a different part of the building. Still no singles could be found. Feeling shy and discouraged, I went home and emailed a friend of mine to find out why I could find no singles. She emailed me back to let me know I had gone to the wrong building. (I asked three separate people, and they all told me the same place!!)
So, this last Sunday, I again dressed up (but left my hair curly-why go to all the trouble if you might not even find the singles? Besides I like my hair curly) and headed out on my trek to find the singles' ward.
I found them. My friend, Jessica, and her sister let me join them for a very nice day of church. I enjoyed my meetings very much. There were a few people I recognized from institute, so I said hello (I found myself unable to think of anything else to say) and mostly stuck to Jessica. I had always thought of her as shy like me, but apparently she's come out of her shell. She took me around introducing me to so many people. I don't remember anyone's name that I didn't already know.
I felt bad, because people would ask, "Oh, did you just move in?" Unable to lie I'd just say "No."
"So, did you just decide to come to the single's ward?"
"Yes."
I didn't want to have to explain that I was divorced. A few people already know, and word will get around but I didn't want to have to say, "Hi, I'm Marilyn. I just got divorced," and then have to answer all the ensuing questions.
At this point Jessica (bless her) would step in and say, "Marilyn's totally awesome, you'll love getting to know her." I was very grateful to her, even though she was pushing me a little faster than I was ready to go. I had imagined myself just blending into the scenery, but Jessica wouldn't have any of that.
Most of the guys were nice while Jessica introduced me, but that was it. (Which was fine, I probably would've died of lack of oxygen due to hyperventilation if any of them had tried to carry on a conversation with me. I keep telling myself it's time to make friends, but it's so scary to talk to guys. It's never been scary before, but I guess with everything I've been through, I must've put up a wall to try to save myself from getting hurt again while I'm still so fragile.) But the girls: holy cow, I almost did hyperventilate after relief society!! There were so many women, and they all wanted to say hi and welcome me to the ward. It was very nice that they were all so friendly, but also very overwhelming.
They had me sign up for an email notice so I'll know what the activities are each week. Jessica was giving me the run down for this week and I was just blown away by how much they do. They get together 3 or more times a week!! I don't know if I am ready for that. I'll definitely go to institute again when it starts back up, and maybe FHE if I get off work in time... but I don't know if I could handle much more.
I guess I feel a little lost. I had the feeling I had taken a step in the right direction, but it was a blind step. I have no idea what I am supposed to do next and that is a very scary feeling. I have put my faith in the Lord, and I know I am being watched over and lead back toward the path I am supposed to be taking, but I'm something of a control freak. I guess I just have to learn to let go...
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