A New Year

Well, it is January 2008. A new year filled with lots of changes. I am ready for them. I am a little anxious and apprehensive, since my future is pretty hazy now, but excited for new adventures.

I had a good Christmas; I was very spoiled. I was given many lovely gifts, and my favorites came from my Dad and my Aunt Mar. My Aunt got me a lovely leather jacket. It fits so perfectly, and the leather is so smooth and smells great!! My Dad got me a copy of a lovely portrait he knew I liked. I love to read, especially historical fiction. This portrait is so beautiful and inspires a million stories.

Now I have to focus on real life. It is a little difficult for me right now, and I am so grateful for my family. They have been so wonderfully supportive. I am going through a divorce which my husband has made more difficult than it needs to be. I don't know if he is being hurtful maliciously, or if he really just doesn't know any better. I just found out that he is already engaged to be married. This girl is the first in a long line of girls I found out about throughout our marriage. Two weeks into my marriage I found out about her and called her to tell her her boyfriend was married. She swears up and down that that was the end of their relationship until Eric contacted her last fall after we separated. I don't know if I believe her or not, but I realize I no longer care. I have been far too loyal and protective of Eric, and he has gotten away with much more than he should have. I am finished letting him hurt me. It is just so sad to realize that I have actually stopped loving him. I never thought I could. Now I wonder if I will ever be able to open up and fall in love again. I'm not sure if I even believe in love.

That brings me to my new adventures. My divorce will be final next month, and I do intend to rejoin the singles from my church. I'm not ready to start dating, but I do want to learn how to socialize and make friends again. I am also planning on returning to school this fall. I just haven't figured out how or where yet. Some kind soul, possibly a family member, who is aware of my situation has offered to anonymously pay for my tuition. I am so incredibly grateful that there is someone out there who cares about me that much. Now I just have to figure out how to pay for my living expenses once I decide where to go.

I am also concerned about my family. My aunt, cousin, and grandparents are struggling with their health. My sister is struggling with some situations at school. She's getting too much pressure from some young men to start a relationship. They don't understand that she is watching me with my struggles and just isn't ready to commit. I feel bad, because I don't want her to be scared to get married. Marriage can work, just not for me apparently. I hope she will look to my Aunt and her family as an example rather than me. On the other hand, there is a young man on his mission right now. It definitely isn't a bad thing that Karen won't commit to the boys who are home. I'm still rooting for our missionary.

I have some great things going for me right now. My bank has changed their incentive program, and if I understand it correctly and can make my goals, it should actually be easier to get a bonus, and I might possibly get more than I did last year. We also bought Countrywide which is exciting because it will take some of the pressure off of us. (Probably not in time for me though...) I accidentally broke my cell phone the other day. I was bummed at first, but then I checked our company's corporate discounts, and I got an excellent deal on a new phone. (The pic is from the company website.) It's a slider, with blue tooth, a camera, and FM RADIO!! I am having fun discovering all the new features. I'm even supposed to be able to put my own music on the phone to create my own ringtones or use the phone as a walkman!! I haven't figured that part out yet, but I will. (I'll probably have to get a new memory card for it.)