The Long Awaited Update

Okay, so it has been so long since I last posted a real blog. So sorry everybody!! It has been crazy around here the last few weeks, and I do mean crazy.

Fun stuff first:

Early this month we had real honest-to-goodness snow. What a blast!! I was so excited to see real snow for the first time in at least 10 years. Down here in Texas we usually get what I call "Texas Snow". It looks like snow, but it's really ice in disguise. But this stuff was soft and fluffy and the snow flakes were as big as I've ever seen them in Texas. (Yes, everything in Texas is bigger-and better... except snowflakes...) My dogs were a little unsure of what was going on the first night of snow, but when it snowed again a few days later, they were ready and excited. It was so much fun to watch them play in the snow.

The best part was throwing snowballs at them, because they could see something coming at them, but when the snowball landed, it didn't look or smell any different than the rest of the ground. They were so confused!!

I built a mini snowman!! Isn't he adorable??

It's been so long, I don't remember if it was the weekend before or after the snow, but I got to go hang out with my dad and his family. We saw the movie "Penelope" which I highly recommend for date night or girl's night out. It was great. We had dinner afterwards, and then we went back to dad's where Fallon and I sang karaoke. It's a good thing she's six and hasn't figured out I can't sing yet...


We took this picture so I could send it to Karen, but I don't think it worked. Here you go Karen, this is what I was trying to text message you all those weeks ago.


Okay, so I know there was more to my fabulous first few days of March, but sadly I took too long to write about it. The next blog has my not so good news for the rest of the month.

Preview

Okay, so a lot has happened in the last week, and I have a LOT of catching up to do. I am sorry I have been so busy but I promise a giant post full of pictures as soon as I can catch a breath. I'll tell you I got to spend some time with my family and play in the snow.

A Day Off

Yay, I finally got a day off and I wasn't sick!! Well, I'm still sniffling, but much better.

I spent yesterday with my Aunt Mar. We hung out at Stonebriar, and I have to admit I got spoiled again. I enjoyed shopping and chatting at lunch, and then Aunt Mar took me to the lady who does her hair so I could get a new haircut. I wanted a big change, and I got it. I think my hair turned out super cute!! It's healthy, smooth, and bouncy now. I was actually excited to go back to work so I could show off my new hair and clothes.

Somebody shoot me please!!

Okay, so it turns out things are worse than I thought. Please everybody pray for me that I will find the solution to my problems and that I will be able to get my life back on track. I don't know what else to do. Just when it seems like my life can't get any worse, it does.

Sorry, but I need to vent

Okay, I have been sick for a week straight, and I am sick of it!! I want to breathe freely and stop blowing my nose every thirty seconds. Of course I am super thankful that my fever is gone and I've stopped throwing up. Also, my throat is much better, thanks.

Being sick makes me cranky, so I could just be over reacting here, but someone please shoot me if I ever tell you I am getting married again. I swear I cannot do it!! I would much rather be the crazy lady who lives in the big house by herself with twenty or so dogs (sorry, not really a cat person). I could be a cool aunt though, because I am learning from the best. (No rush, Karen, I think five or ten years sounds good to me...)

I am so sorry this is such a negative post, but my ex-husband is stooping to all time lows. I just can't wrap my head around it. How can the man I met and married be the man who is purposely driving me crazy (and not in a good way) today? What happened? I sometimes wonder what I did to deserve this, but I can't think of anything. I have a temper, I know, but other than that, I was a good wife. I tried to be supportive and loving as much as I could be, but Eric just didn't care about my health problems and wouldn't step up like he needed to. And now he's blaming me, and rubbing my face in his new relationship. Like I care if there is another woman in his life. That's certainly not something new.

All I have to say to his girlfriend is good luck. You'll need it. You see how he treats me now, just wait until he's tired of you. He cheated on me to be with you twice, and there were other girls in between. Trust me, he won't change for you. He's meaner now than he's ever been. I don't know how or why you two have convinced yourselves that I am the bad guy since Eric can't handle his responsibilities. Just because the judge signed the paperwork doesn't mean all of our situations have settled. Sorry, but you'll have to keep dealing with me until everything is cleared up. It's called being an adult.

Okay, so I don't know if either of them will ever read this, so I am apologizing again for my negative blog. To my other readers, thanks for your love and support. I couldn't have survived so far with out you. Thanks for letting me vent. Here's hoping the next blog is a little happier.

By the way, I took myself to see "Fools Gold" tonight. It's a very good comedy, I highly recommend it for my adult or older teen friends. There's nothing bad in it, I just don't think a younger child would get it. Anyway, I bring it up because Tess and Finn (Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey) get divorced in the beginning of the movie. Finn is late to the meeting with the judge, so Tess has to go through it alone. She says, "Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to get divorced by yourself?" Yes, actually, I do.

The Big 10

Happy Birthday, Megan!!

My little cousin Megan turned 10 today. She may be growing up, but she'll always be my "little Megan".

Megan is very smart, beautiful, and talented. She excels in her gymnastics competitions and is adored by all who know her. Megan has a big heart for such a tiny girl. She goes out of her way to make sure everyone is happy and having a good time.

I'll never forget when she first moved to Texas with her family. We were invited to her house for dinner, but there wasn't enough room for everyone at the table. Megan was two years old, and made a table for her sister from a step stool.

Megan never ceases to amaze me. She isn't afraid to be herself, or show off her talents. She makes me laugh, and I especially love watching her perform with her brother, Ashton.

Megan is the kind of person who accepts you the way you are.
It doesn't cross her mind that you may be different from her; she loves you anyway. She is an excellent example to me, and I am so grateful to have her in my life.

Happy Birthday, Megan. I hope you enjoy your big day.

The End or The Beginning

It is officially official!! I am divorced!! My mom keeps asking me if I am okay. I am. I feel so absolutely free and excited to find out what is next for me. I want to say thank you again to all my friends and family. You guys have been a great source of strength, comfort, and support. Now I just have to remember how to be single...

It's definitely a new beginning, and I am so happy. How many people get to start their lives over again? It is a little scary, but thrilling.

Goodbye President Hinckley

Many people often ask me what sets my religion apart from other Christian churches. One of the most amazing differences is that we follow a living prophet who guides us through inspiration from our Heavenly Father.

When I was about 12 years old, Gordon B Hinckley was called as the president and prophet of our church. I have spent most of my life lucky enough to listen to his council and enjoy his sermons. Sadly, he passed away today.

President Hinckley was so amazing. He was so intelligent and kind, and had a wonderful sense of humor. Even though I usually only saw him via satellite, I could always feel a glorious spirit and had the sense I was kneeling at his feet as he taught the gospel. He seemed to glow. I felt as if I knew him like a grandfather, and I feel as if I've lost a dear family member. I will always remember him as my prophet since I have such a hazy memory of the three previous prophets we've had during my life time.

President Hinckley, thank you for your inspiration and guidance. I could feel how much you loved the people you led. I am so grateful that you made the choices in your life that allowed you to become the president of our church. I benefited greatly from your lessons. I know you are in Heaven with your wife and family that have gone on before. I know you are with Heavenly Father and beginning your new calling assisting God's children to return to their home in Heaven. I cannot wait for the day I will get to meet you and thank you in person. I love you.

Thank you.

My Wonderfully Awesome Family

I would like to take the opportunity to say how much I love my family. I have always known I came from good people, and they just continue to prove it. I have been so amazed by how supportive my family has been as I have been struggling lately. I never doubted that they loved me; I just never realized how much they loved me. It feels so strangely wonderful to know how much they care for me.

I don't get to hear from my grandparents too often. I really miss them when I can't see them or talk to them as I'd like to. But they are always watching out for me, and my Grandma has a way of calling just when I need her to. She called yesterday with an offer that would rescue me from one of my recent divorce-related dramas. I know that my grandparents are concerned about me and I love that they care enough to offer their assistance. They rush to my defense and always have so much wisdom to share. They are very inspired in what they do and say. I recently found a letter I received from them many years ago that told me exactly what I needed to hear today. I appreciated the letter when I received it, but I treasure it now, knowing it was sent by inspiration and saved for the day when I would really need it. Thank you Grandma and Grandpa for everything you do for me and for the rest of the family. I love you both so much. Grandma and Grandpa came for a visit last spring and posed on Dad's bike.

Even though my parents are no longer together, they each in their own way love me. I have really appreciated their words of wisdom and comfort.

And I have Karen and her friend providing daily entertainment. That's Karen on the left.

My Aunt Mar is also full of wisdom and fun distractions.

I am so grateful to have my wonderful family. I don't know how I could survive this trial without them. I thank my Heavenly Father for them daily. It's funny how I feel like I've hit rock bottom, but at the same time, I've never felt more blessed.

A New Year

Well, it is January 2008. A new year filled with lots of changes. I am ready for them. I am a little anxious and apprehensive, since my future is pretty hazy now, but excited for new adventures.

I had a good Christmas; I was very spoiled. I was given many lovely gifts, and my favorites came from my Dad and my Aunt Mar. My Aunt got me a lovely leather jacket. It fits so perfectly, and the leather is so smooth and smells great!! My Dad got me a copy of a lovely portrait he knew I liked. I love to read, especially historical fiction. This portrait is so beautiful and inspires a million stories.

Now I have to focus on real life. It is a little difficult for me right now, and I am so grateful for my family. They have been so wonderfully supportive. I am going through a divorce which my husband has made more difficult than it needs to be. I don't know if he is being hurtful maliciously, or if he really just doesn't know any better. I just found out that he is already engaged to be married. This girl is the first in a long line of girls I found out about throughout our marriage. Two weeks into my marriage I found out about her and called her to tell her her boyfriend was married. She swears up and down that that was the end of their relationship until Eric contacted her last fall after we separated. I don't know if I believe her or not, but I realize I no longer care. I have been far too loyal and protective of Eric, and he has gotten away with much more than he should have. I am finished letting him hurt me. It is just so sad to realize that I have actually stopped loving him. I never thought I could. Now I wonder if I will ever be able to open up and fall in love again. I'm not sure if I even believe in love.

That brings me to my new adventures. My divorce will be final next month, and I do intend to rejoin the singles from my church. I'm not ready to start dating, but I do want to learn how to socialize and make friends again. I am also planning on returning to school this fall. I just haven't figured out how or where yet. Some kind soul, possibly a family member, who is aware of my situation has offered to anonymously pay for my tuition. I am so incredibly grateful that there is someone out there who cares about me that much. Now I just have to figure out how to pay for my living expenses once I decide where to go.

I am also concerned about my family. My aunt, cousin, and grandparents are struggling with their health. My sister is struggling with some situations at school. She's getting too much pressure from some young men to start a relationship. They don't understand that she is watching me with my struggles and just isn't ready to commit. I feel bad, because I don't want her to be scared to get married. Marriage can work, just not for me apparently. I hope she will look to my Aunt and her family as an example rather than me. On the other hand, there is a young man on his mission right now. It definitely isn't a bad thing that Karen won't commit to the boys who are home. I'm still rooting for our missionary.

I have some great things going for me right now. My bank has changed their incentive program, and if I understand it correctly and can make my goals, it should actually be easier to get a bonus, and I might possibly get more than I did last year. We also bought Countrywide which is exciting because it will take some of the pressure off of us. (Probably not in time for me though...) I accidentally broke my cell phone the other day. I was bummed at first, but then I checked our company's corporate discounts, and I got an excellent deal on a new phone. (The pic is from the company website.) It's a slider, with blue tooth, a camera, and FM RADIO!! I am having fun discovering all the new features. I'm even supposed to be able to put my own music on the phone to create my own ringtones or use the phone as a walkman!! I haven't figured that part out yet, but I will. (I'll probably have to get a new memory card for it.)